11:10 AM I'm alive! I just didn't post yesterday because I was busy. Mondays are crammed, and all my in-between-class time was spent revising lessons. After school, I went exercising then I went to a coffee shop for further lesson-fixing. Then sleep! The whole day was essentially spent teaching or preparing to teach.
Yesterday was good. The little stool I got for students has been awesome. They come in and sit down and talk with me, so I feel almost like a school counselor.
Minchan came by on Monday and talked to be about a million things. The amount of ideas he was able to convey with a C-level vocabulary was stunning. I know he's sensitive about his weight and he told me that he's been even more stressed the past few months because in December he was hit by a car and injured his leg so he couldn't exercise for 3 months.
Because the boys sometimes get hit by cars. I've seen the aftermath of one such accident, blood-free, thankfully. When you have a thousand teenagers swarming the streets on foot and on bikes, chatting and playing, running around willy-nilly, and pair that with an aggressive driving culture, you've got a recipe for a lot of accidents.
(Background: almost no one in Korea had a privately owned vehicle before the late 80's, so while Korea is very modern, they are very recently modern, so the driving culture might be compared to 1960's America, in terms of how long the population has been driving.)
So Minchan had a reason for hanging out in front of the nurse's office for so long. For months, I'd see him on the little bench in front of the school hospital room, and I thought he just didn't have anywhere to be. Turns out, he must have either been waiting for check-ups or painkillers, etc.
When Jeongmin came in to talk with me while I was with Minchan, I sent Jeongmin upstairs with the games so I could stay and talk with Minchan, who seemed to need an ear. He told me he was jelous of Jeongmin's English ability.
Minchan also asked me about how I felt about students always asking for candy. He said, "I think outside happy look, but inside angry, I think". That blew my mind--that Minchan would be able to perceive or care that the way I seem and the way I feel might be different. But I told him no, I'm happy inside also. I don't mind giving students candy. I like talking for them and doing nice things. He said the students call me an angel, because I'm like an angel in the halls, smiling and giving them things.
I only stopped talking with Minchan because Hyo had been waiting for me for 10 minutes, out in the hall. I told him to go play games in Sa-ban, but I gradually realized that Hyo doesn't care about Lunchtime Games for their own sake--he wanted to spend time with me, specifically. So Minchan left and me and Hyo went up the stairs to go sit in the sunshiny window seat.
We talked about his weekend. He did funeral rites for his great-grandfather, because Sunday was his great-grandpa's anniversary of death. In the States, we often visit graves or reminisce with loved ones on death anniversaries, but it's even more formalized in Korea, where there are really specific rituals and meals for such things. Hyo said his great-grandpa hadn't seen him since he was born, so there was no mourning or missing happening.
While we were sitting in the window talking, the Technology Teacher came by the room to greet the 2nd-grader, though he's a 3rd-grade teacher. Hyo whispered to me as if it was a significant observation, "That teacher. I see. Sometimes. He very...he small. But...but...nice." I agreed, saying, "Yes, he's very small. But he has a handsome face and he's very smart. And he's a nice person. Like you."
Hyo smiled to himself. And I mentally thanked the Technology Teacher for being such a great person, and for always smiling and being cheerful. Another man could be really bothered by being so petite--being shorter than 75% of your students can't be easy, but Technology Teacher never seems anything less than pleasant and glad to be alive. The kids adore him and huddle around him like puppies.
And he's such a good example for Hyo, who is probably never going to be anything but physically little. Hyo notices an older man who is similarly sized, but who is confident and successful and happy. He can be the same way when he becomes a man.
I'm so thankful for my boys to have good examples. I can love the students and encourage/appreciate/joke with/comfort them, but I can't show them how to be a good guy. But I know people who can! Today I saw NG-Teacher hugging one of my new favorites, Seungyeop. Seungyeop likes me plenty, but the way he lights up at attention from NG-Teacher is another matter altogether. And I saw Adorable History Teacher at the gate this morning, hugging one of his little 1st-graders. It was so sweet, I started laughing. These men really do care about the students, just like I do.
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8 PM: I'm a little let down because the 2nd-grade lesson I spent 5 hours devising and 2 hours revising only sorta-kinda works. No matter how much you break it down for the boys, there are still confusing bits. And when you tell them to practice speaking, they don't practice. And when you give them worksheets, they don't hardly try to do them.
I love my boys. I heart them so much, and I really want to make lovely things for them. If only it worked better.
On the upside:
1. I DID try something hard for the first time, making a lesson from scratch.
2. Making future lessons will be easier because now I have a template.
3. I only have to teach it one more time!
4. Now I know what I did wrong.
In class, Yunho tried to get me away from another kid. He said in polite Korean, "Sem, I want to study." Meaning he wanted one-on-one time to flirt. But he does his English when I help him, so. Everybody wins. NG-Teacher was great with the kids as always, but class is either a wild or a boring place when the boys do exactly what I want, but only if I'm right with them.
Bright side--today, the one kid I got mad at two weeks ago became my friend. Bomin is his name, and he and I bonded over his worksheet today. When I got mad at him, it was over his refusal to stand for his speaking part, but he was just shy. Now he knows I'm his person and I won't force him. We can just talk it out.
And I got Junbeom, who flat-out absolutely refused to speak, to do his dialogue. After Taesu, who can barely sound out any words at all, did the dialogue, I went back to Junbeom and asked him quietly if he'd like to try again. He did. I put a mark on his paper which he later redeemed for candy, him and Taesu both. Normally, kids don't get rewarded just for doing the basic elements of their work. But today, Taesu and Junbeom made heroic efforts. Other kids breezed through the dialogue in seconds, but these two had to work for it and I like to recognize bravery.
Bravery is hard for my Wooseok, too. Today all the students who came by for candy had to talk to me first--I just asked them "what did you do yesterday?" and they had to use some English. Wooseok is so scared of English, he refused to speak, left the office and stared at me through the glass. I beckoned him back, then fed him his sentence word by word: I-I went-went-to-to-the-the-park-park.
The other kids had miraculous results when I asked them to speak with me. They sat on the stool and got really chatty. They seemed to be enjoying the English conversation, like it was a video game and they had to win points by using phrases. Yeongjoon and Gyuchan especially talked a lot. BY wanted to talk, too. I didn't make him tell me what he did yesterday, but he volunteered--he wanted to tell me about his day, and was disappointed when I didn't ask him!
2nd-graders Afro-Jiwoong and Myeongbae discovered that the size tag was still on my new shirt. Doggone it, that was embarrassing. But they're my boys, and I'd rather they told me about it than another adult. Afro-Jiwoong bonded over our mutual love of Japanese comics.
Had several half-English half-Korean conversations with co-workers. Feeling happy about the communication.
Found out that my 3rd-grader A-level Suho is the big brother of my 1st-grade afterschool A-level Cheolho. How did I not know this. They have the same face. Same face. They are both intelligent and their 1st names end in -ho...I should have put it together before now!
In afterschool, the shy, withdrawn Jihoon did a beautiful job on his story and his art. I was quite proud, because Jihoon in the only B-level in that whole class. Everyone else is a brain, and I know it's got to be hard for him to try.
Showed Jiyoon a picture of my baby brother. He said my brother's handsome. I said, "Yes, like you." I have to yell at Jiyoon about once a class (get out of that window, stop punching Dongjoon, do not sit on the desk, etc.) but I try to reinforce that I really do like him.
3rd-grade Changyo is endlessly impressed with my Korean abilities. Every time we cross paths and he hears me use Korean, he acts like I've done him a personal favor by learning words. I'm right fond of Changyo and I miss teaching him. Minsu and Chansu and Sanghyeop from his class last year moved up a grade, but Changyo remained in B. Still, we see each other sometimes. :-)
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