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Saturday, June 6, 2015

6-6-15 Guess Who Can't Post On Schedule?

9 PM:

I'm doing a thing where I'm trying to eat extra-super-more-clean, changing little bits of my daily intake. I changed out my morning packet of processed soup for oatmeal--just oats and water and a little sugar.

I haven't had soda (diet or otherwise) or an artificially sweetened drink in 2 weeks. I've been really leveling up my amount of water, taking two bottles with me to school everyday, which is extra nice because I can share it since the kids are often thirsty in class due to the warm weather. Because it's


And being the start of summer, we're always on the edge of Quite Uncomfortably Warm. I've traded out the light-fabric cardigans I wear over my dresses (because in Korea we don't wear sleeveless dresses by themselves--it's a workplace fashion no-no) for thread-thin cardigans that are mostly see-through. I also sometimes take my feet out of my slip-on shoes in class because even having a strap over the top of my foot is too confining and too hot. It's toasty.

Classes are lovely. My boys are darrrrling. They are the best. Nothing is cuter or fun-er or nicer than them. Kyeonghun is drawing Spiderman characters everywhere, Changho is constantly guilt-tripping me about letting the potted flower that he gave me for me birthday die, Kyeongpil sends me photos of his own little cupcake baking projects, JH chats happily to me about every little thing that goes through his mind, and Dongjoo says he's going to marry someone like me someday.


Cute As The Goat's Pajamas.




One of my friends is worried that she and I will be transferred out of our respective schools after this semester instead of after this full year, and I'm afraid to say that I've let that worry infect me a little.

I mean, my school is my home here. I have friends and solidly designed classes and an uncountable number or beautiful children. It would hurt me terribly to leave them.

However, after talking with the Lord, I realized that there's been no indication that I'll have to move schools in August, and even if/when I have to go somewhere else, it's in God's hands. I've asked to remain where I am--if he moves me, it's not an accident, it's His will.


Cooking class on Friday was the first I've had in over two weeks due to the heat, and there were forty zillion tiny problems with it.

Basically, It Faceplanted.

My kiddoes added too much baking soda to the cookies which made the treats expand into a massive puddle that wouldn't cook, and one of my boys burned his forearm. But that particular boy shyly asked me if we would be cooking again next week, and if so, whether he could help out again. And then it struck me than no matter how much of a disaster I thought the lesson was, my little guys were happy with it.


I bought new bedding today. Clean, puffy, fresh. Also, I bought proper cheeses and learned the difference between Brie and Camembert (Brie is light and buttery and infinitely tastier, although the two cheeses look identical on the outside).

I still study language at least one hour every day, but usually more. It's paying off in little ways.

These days, I talk more directly to the Lord. And I've stopped sending up, "Would you please fix this problem I have, you know, if you have time, but I'll totally understand if you ignore this prayer." kind of prayers. Those were ungrateful and passive-aggressive, basically telling God that I didn't think he could fix anything, so I wasn't getting my hopes up for his response. How silly!

There, There, Little Penguin. Fret Not.

So I definitely feel more secure when I talk to God out loud instead of mentally grumbling the equivalent of terse text messages at him. He loves me! He's got good things planned for me! This I know. :-)

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Sunday, May 10, 2015

5-10-15 Happy Mother's Day!

9:40 PM

Ah, it's that time of year again. Mommy's day.  And I'm always on the cusp of understanding more about my own mom and what I owe to her.

I wouldn't have come to this country--to MY country--without my mom's support. If it would have broken her heart for me to leave, I wouldn't have. But she sent me off! She gave me life and nurtured me and then let me go where I was supposed to. I pray that I'm able to do as much for my own little ones someday.



Church today was good. I was feeling ambivalent about leading a small group because in spiritual things I always always prefer to be ministered to than to minister. I can serve, sure. Can take care of babies and hand out food and clean up. But being a "leader" is new for me, in however small a capacity.

But the Lord's using it for something. Today, as I prayed out loud for our small group (2 middle school students, my friend who is my partner in leading, plus one of our church's deacons and his wife), I fell to absolute pieces crying, just overwhelmed by the Lord's sweetness and thanking him.

They understood. Our deacon and his wife are parents of one of my former students and they know me well from church. And I had just finished explaining that I can tell the Lord works on my heart when he makes me cry.

Don't know why, but praise songs and prayer time make me cry. Every Sunday, like clockwork. But I kind of welcome the tears--they're weird and they take some getting used to, but they happen for a reason. 

In general, I feel like the Lord is softening my heart. The tears are part of that. The pastor's message today was about how God chooses broken people to pour his spirit into, and I feel that.  Somehow, Jesus has been wearing away my defenses until I can't have a chip on my shoulder anymore.



I can't be tough or cool anymore. I don't mean so much in outward behavior, but inside. Something has changed and is changing. The toughness I kept up, the resentment at God for not giving me things I thought I needed, the vigilance about my own safety and upkeep, based on the belief that I had to look out for numero uno because nobody else (including God) was going to do it... it's all getting washed away.

Not sure why, but it's somehow very important that I be ultimately vulnerable. That I let God craft me into being as clear an expression of love and sweetness and comfort as I can be.

It's at least partially for the children I teach, I know. The softer I am in attitude, the more clearly I see their needs and the more often I pray for them. I'm more patient with them. 


There's also been another situation that I won't go into which has been a refining furnace for me. It's been the source of so much genuine sorrow that I couldn't see what it was doing in my life except hurting me. What possible benefit could there being to this long-running pain? Well, today I saw that it has been one of the things that softened me. 

Through this one struggle, I learned to let go. Sometimes the Lord doesn't fix your problem--doesn't shoo it away into oblivion or give you an iron heart so that you're no longer affected by the hurt. Sometimes he leaves it, and you learn to lean on him. Because leaning on the everlasting arms is the only way you can stand upright.

I'm glad the Lord didn't remove the thorn when I asked him to, no matter how many times I asked. If he had, I would still think I was a cool, tough girl who could keep it all together. Now I'm a vessel, ready to be filled with the Lord's presence and to do whatever he wants. As Mary said, "be it unto me according to thy word." 

I can't protect my own heart or life. But God holds both in his hands.


And I Trust Him!

Sunday, May 3, 2015

5-3-15 Figuring Out a New Posting Schedule

8 PM:    Howdy!

I am happy as a bucket of clams. Healthy, growing mentally and spiritually, and surrounded by delightful friends.

I'm sorry I haven't written, but my life schedule changed a bit.

I'm trying to study constantly for the November exam in Korean, I got a 2 (high beginner) last November and I want a 3 (low intermediate) this November, just six months away. The 3 is not just somewhat harder than the 2---it's several orders of magnitude harder than the 2.

For starters, I have 2,500 vocabulary words to learn. Intermediate verbs like "to refrain" "to distort" "to stagnate," must be mastered, not just in their basic form but in their past, future, causative and passive forms. I'm halfway through the word list, currently.

Next, I have to master short essay-writing for the test. Nothing too fancy, just 5-8 sentences on any given prompt they produce.


It's hard, but I can do it. I want it, and I will dedicate myself to achieving it.

The World of Language: It Awaits.

But while I used to use my free class periods at work to jot down notes for blog posts, I now use that time for study. I'm happy with that, but I worry that I'm not updating my family often enough.


So for now I propose a Sunday Update--one post a week, hopefully containing notes from the previous days. It's a positive solution to the zero updates that result from my new studies, :-)


The kids are glorious as always. Nothing so lovely as their hearts, nothing so bright as their futures, I'm so lucky to be here, to be placed by God in precisely this location.


Monday, April 13, 2015

4-13-15 Cookies and 2nd-Grade Gangsters

6 PM:    First cooking class with the 2nd-graders went well.  For the first period, the kids were bored as a gourd because only 4 of them could cook and I hadn't figured out what to do with the rest of them.

But me and HS worked out what to do with them for Friday, so the problems are mostly solved. Yee!

Today, I had a good time with Dongwoo, who has always been a kid with high English but who has never been particularly interested in chilling with me, unlike the other kids. But today I pointed out that he helped me more than anybody else did, and he grinned. I think we'll get along better in the future!

Changho suggested that my nickname should be "Lovely" and he's probably going to keep using it, if I know him.

Daehyun, who loves me, noticed that I'm friendly with Chanhee (who also loves me), which naturally led to accusations of dating, because 2nd-grade logic works that way. "Teacher + Chanhee" was written in a heart on the board after class, so according to Monday's conversation class, I'm a couple with one of the biggest gangsters in 2nd grade.

But I think it's mostly positive attention for Chanhee, which is good for him. He's always in trouble for something. Last year, he gave his homeroom teacher fits and never obeyed at all, and this year I've already seen him kneeling in the stone-floor hall outside the big office, doing punishments for smoking.

I didn't know his name until this semester, but he's my boy. I want him to be healthy and happy, and anything sweet I can do for him is all to the positive side of things.

Jungyoon, a little fireball of joy and fun, offered up a great commentary on the cookie-baking and took it upon himself to reshape the "ugly" cookies into prettier shapes.

I found out that if a cookie recipe calls for 2 sticks of butter and 1 egg, you can use 1 stick of butter and 2 eggs and get a similar result--knowledge gained!

I had a batch of cookies leftover after class, so I fed them to 1st-graders who muddled their way into class. SG had one and she said it was good, so score!

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Friday, April 10, 2015

4-10-15 #Thanks 22

11 PM   Here's the Thank List and stuff I wrote on Tuesday, because school takes up load-boocoodles of time. :-)


241. Surprise ddeok, in nice little ribbon-wrapped packages, sent to all the teachers by one of the 3rd grade moms.
242. Finding out that it's my baby JH's birthday today, planning for his present tomorrow.
243. Gradually filling in the the color in my Secret Garden grownup coloring book.
244. Beomjoon bellowing "Your hair is YELLOW" for no good reason. It's been yellow for the past 2 years you've known me, little bear.
245. Chatting with EJ Teacher on the walk to school, trying to cultivate a new friendship.
246. Row upon row of cherry blossoms in town. Spring sprang everywhere.
247. Listening to JY teasing students--her style is totally different from mine, but the kids love it and respond well to it.
248. Looking forward to the girl-teachers-only teachers' dinner tonight. Should be fun!
249. Talking to 1st grader Yoongyu, about how he lives in my neighborhood, which is why I see him so often on the walk home from school.
250. The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe still being fun to watch with the kids after all this time.


1:30 PM Had my first office hours today. None of my 2nd graders came by, but plenty of 1st graders did, most notably Rook, who is one of the kids who loves me most, and who I recently found out was one of the school athletes.

Every year there is one athletic representative for each grade. When I got here it was GiantShion for 3rd grade (by the way, Shion surprised me on easter Sunday! He walked up quickly and said 'surprise' just as I was walking into English service and he was leaving Korean service. It's a good thing I have Shion's profile programmed into my mental database of "People Who Are Safe and Who I Am Glad to See," because my first reaction to seeing him was one of joy and not of alarm. Because he's big enough to make you jump back a bit, if you didn't know how sunshiny and loveable he was.)

Anyhover, the first year I was here it was Giant Shion, then Loud Jinsung (who I befriended), then Won, who i believed hated me for more than a year, though that now seems to be inaccurate. the best year, Youngjoon was added to the lineup, and now it's.  Won, Youngjoon, Rook, all lining up in the school vestibule and waiting for their training sessions.

Rook wants to know how old I am because of course he does.  I still tell them all that it's a secret, but I did add that i that been to college, grad school, and taught in America before coming here.

Rook says it doesn't matter that I'm old because I'm still totally lovely and a "golden beauty" (if you look up this phrase in Korean, it primarily yields pictures of Scarlett Johansson). I begin to think that Rook will never have a bad thing to say to me.

We also had a spiritual discussion. I go to church with his classmate, Joyful Hyunwoo, and Rook said he'd heard that. he asked if I went to church in America too, and wondered how church in both countries compared.  Then Hyunwoo walked in and they went off OK on a separate discussion about church, which was really sweet. Maybe more of my boys will come to English services! Who knows?

4:20 PM. Well, wonder of wonders class 2-5, 2-6, which gave me fits last week, was darling today. Once I figured out that what Hyunmin and Chanmin and ESPECIALLY Hansem want is attention.

So I give them attention. I compliment their pronunciation and laugh at their jokes and give them the side eye when they're being marginally mean to each other.


Last week I was pretty flabbergasted with them. This week, deciding to be charmed by them worked wonders. They were so pleased and so content with being liked and  being part of a fun, jokey atmosphere. It was like our own little club and it was grand.

Saturday, April 4, 2015

4-4-15 #Thanks21, Baking List, and Infinite Eunjis

8PM    Glorious day of watching educational videos, gently exercising (yes, after 15 hours of sleep, I recovered enough to walk on my treadmill), studying Korean and baking vanilla cookies for an Easter brunch tomorrow. I feel so happy!

My illness was definitely bad-food-related because I'm at almost 100% capacity today. Oh, and I'm so enjoying the day. Here's some thankfulnesses I found in the past week:

234. Apple scented face wash.
235. Warm running water.
236. Learning my new 1st graders names.
237. Post-sickness, eating all the crackers in the world.
238. A dream of contentment, showing me that I already have the life I want, the one of deep joy.
239. Smell of vanilla from cookies, floating on the air.

240. Consolidating my notebooks. Tearing out old notes, reviewing my vocabulary, keeping my writing space productive.



And I'm working out how to do baking with my conversation boys on Monday. The budget still hasn't come through for the class, one month into it, but it shouldn't cost more than $20 for me to get the supplies we need. Mainly, it's just re-buying bowls and utensils from the Korean equivalent of Dollar General, so that we're not using stuff from my house.

My notes, they look like thus:

Displaying 20150404_195457_HDR.jpg

Current biggest issue is that the cookies need to cool, and they do that best in a freezer. Nearest freezer to us is a floor away because there are no offices on the 2nd floor. And since this is during class time, I have to be careful about sending kids trotting off to go put stuff in far-away fridges, just in case somebody objects.

Anyhoosier, I think I'm on the right track. Monday's gonna be exhaustrifrying without me trying to bake with the babies, but I'm gonna do it anyway, I think. It'll be good for all of us to try a project.


Tomorrow's Easter! Whooo!  Preschool egg hunts, then brunch with the other Americans, then English worship service, then small groups, then Easter dinner at my friend's house! 'Tis a full and happy day, the day of resurrection. :-)



In other news, one of my from-last-year kiddos, Chaehwan, friended me on Facebook. I added him because I actually could remember him...

Only One of These Ducklings Is Your Duckling.
Good Luck Finding Him.


The big and hilarious problem with sorting out Facebook friend requests from Korean teenagers is that I'll only accept the requests of children I personally know ( I get asks from high-school kids who are friends with my former boys), and they make it next to impossible to discern their identity. 

Reasons Why I Can't Tell Who My Kids Are:

1. Inaccurate Profile Pictures. Instead of having a picture of themselves, even a fuzzy-grainy photo, a distance shot, or a pic of them in the midst of ten other people, the boys will choose to display their favorite female celebrity.

If I get a request from a kid, I will certainly remember his face, without a doubt. But his profile picture will not be his face, but rather a face which he enjoys looking at. For example:



Eunji, from A-Pink


Chorong, from A-Pink



Hyeri, from Girls' Day


And the students all like the same girls, so it's not just one boy with these as his profile picture! If you believed photos, I'm friends with 5 Eunjis at least. 

2. Inaccurate Extra Photos. Facebook has an option where you can look at all the photos a person has uploaded, if they make that public. If I get a request from a kid and he's got a standard Eunji-pic on his profile, I check his extra photos to see if there's one that's, you know, actually him. And in about half of the cases, there will be an old selfie in there. It will refresh my memory and I'll know that yes, I did teach this particular Youngjin, back in fall of 2013. He was smart and I often saw him hanging out at my neighborhood playground.

But. 

Sometimes you click the "Photos" tab and it's just more Eunjis.


Student Un-Identifiability Increases 
As the Amount of Eunjis Approaches Infinity


3. Video posts. Grown-ups sometimes post videos to Facebook, but we write about our lives, too. The kids are more prone to post funny video after funny video, with no content related to their life, which would be helpful in figuring out if they're my student. If a kid has written a timely post in Korean that says, "Sports Day was boring!" then since every school has different sports days and he can only be talking about one event, I'll know if he's one of mine. but they only sometimes write real-world-related things.

So,

back to Chaehwan. I saw him last week, in the window of the boys' high school next door. Often, when me and JY go for our lunchtime walk around the soccer field, our former students will be at the windows and they'll yell down at us through the giant fence. It's darling.


I hollered a hi to Woojin, Duyeol, Hojin, Other Hojin, Junsu, Taegyoon, and a few others, but when I saw Chaehwan's face, his name escaped me. I knew it wasn't Chansu or Changyo, but I couldn't place which "Ch"-name he was.

Next day, I got a friend request from him and remembered, "Oh right! It's 'Chaehwan"!" Whew. Request accepted, name-remembering crisis averted.

I remembered his face well because he was A-level and I taught him for three semesters. However, Chaehwan was never one of the ones who tried to be close to me. He was unfailingly pleasant, but he wasn't funny or brilliant and he didn't try to make conversation. 

Today, he asked in English on one of my posted pictures, "Teacher, do you remember me?" Youngjoon, one of my old favorites, took the liberty of replying to him, "no she doesn't," before I had a chance to write back. What I wrote was, "Chaehwan, you always helped me and KBR by locking the door when class was done, and you have a new baby sister, don't you?" He "liked" my comment, and I knew I'd gotten my info correct.

Crazy thing is, I never-never would have pegged sweet Chaehwan as a kid who cared about being remembered. But he noticed that I didn't call his name at the window. And he still wasn't sure if he was known, so he asked in public forum. And thank the Lord I had a few key facts set aside in my mind, to produce so that Chaehwan could be validated in front of Youngjoon (who was just teasing him, but these things are always more important than they seem).

You never know who wants to matter. Might as well value all of them and commit as many of their details to memory as you can. Because one day, someone surprising and unlooked-for will want to know if you remember their new baby sister. 
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Friday, April 3, 2015

4-3-15 Sick, Contemplations on Age, and Office Hours

7 PM:

Missed you.




It's Friday and I got through the school day by sleeping for 4 class periods in the nurse's office. I spent all last night vomiting--seems to have been bad food, not a real stomach flu.

Anyhyperdrive, I kept tabs on my body and determined that I could make it to school. I managed to sit through my first 2 classes and let them study, but I couldn't last any longer. JY walked with me to the nurse's office and I got some medicine.

I actually did eat rice at lunch, a fair amount of it, so I felt really convinced that I was on the mend. Despite feeling like that walking dead, I knew the bad stuff was out of my system.

After lunch, my 2nd grade students Dohyun and Dongsup came by my curtained hospital bed to inform me that it was class time, but I told them they'd just be with HS-Teacher today. Our double convo class just couldn't happen.

After school, I actually felt well enough to walk home, and Dohyun rode his little bike after me to make sure I was okay, He's SO SWEET. I remember when he was in my second afterschool last year and I thought he was a 2nd Jiyoon, a pint-sized troublemaker, and he's turned out to be my great comfort and joy in many situations.


Here's writing I did on Thursday, before I got sick:


1:22 PM. Well, almost as soon as I halted my thankfulness habit, the worry bug bit. Today, JY pointed out that this year's 2nd graders aren't quite as happy with their homeroom teachers this year because all the 1st grade female teachers are young and pretty, while the 2nd grade female teachers are mostly older ladies.

It made me a little sad and worried for the future because I'm not going to get younger, obviously. This is a one-way train and getting older is where it leads.

Doors this kind of student-behavior mean that if I'm still teaching when I'm 50, none of my students will pay attention? Will I be less valued, less loved, then?

Then I recall my beloved high school English teacher, who was almost 70 and was my daily light and inspiration. And the super-cool ladies of the English department at my college, who were knowledgeable and polished.

I can't fear age. And I won't.

Good put me in a body like anyone else's, subject to the same processes as anyone's. it's all a gift, the coming and the going.

1-1, 1-2 class was great. They're SG's kids, some of them, and they're just charming and a joy to be around.

Kyeonghun, one of my greatly like 2nd graders hung out after class to talk to me about Easter, about how he's Catholic and today is Holy Thursday. He said, as he said last week, that he enjoys talking with me but that he's upset because there's never enough time to do so.

I suggested visiting my office, but he said the teachers don't like kids to visit there, and that's quite true. I've got to wrack my brain a little to do his time to talk with kids like Changho and Kyeonghun who don't feel like they're getting enough time.


My current idea: have office hours in the English room every Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday from 1--1:30 for kids who want extra talking time. Mondays and Fridays are really busy for me, so those days might not be practical, but it's a possibility at least, for some of them.
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Thursday, March 26, 2015

3-26-15 #Thanks20 and Strong Minds

10 PM:

Life is good and I'm so happy.

Though I keep quite busy, getting lessons done and prepped ahead of time, making sure my ducks are in a row. Here's some notes I made on Wednesday:

221. Lavender sweater for today! Soft and sweet.
222. Pretty purple turtleneck, bright.
223. Being told that I look like a deer, and learning that that is a compliment--it means to look wide-eyed and innocent.
224. Changho asking if I feel better today, after noting that I had a sore throat yesterday.
225. Mr. B giving me an even nicer class list than I had before--this time, complete with like green carry-folder.
226. Eggs for lunch. I go so crazy for protein.
227. Plenty of Pocari to drink when I'm thirsty--soothes those final bits of sore throat.
228. Realizing that I am in God's debt, and he is not in mine.
229. the book, The Undercover Economist, my current nonfiction read.
230. Sound of gentle silence in the office--this too, is home.

231. 3rd graders being unexpectedly delightful.
232. Plenty of tissues when you need tissues.
233. Frank Sinatra songs. I'm quite nostalgic for eras I've never lived in.



11:40 AM

Class 3-5, 3-6 was bountifully splendid. I walked in the for and they were all waiting to pounce and scare me, which for them was clearly a gesture of massive affection.

It set the mood perfectly. I was grinning from the begging of class onward. My boys. They know they're loved.

And I need to take a moment of appreciation for Mr. B, too. In the past I feel like I've complained about him some, but he now let's me call the roll in class because he knows that I'm trying to learn the new kids names and visual confirmation helps so much.

Also, he's been doing the dialogues with me in front of the kids, helping me demonstrate the pieces they're supposed to memorize. It's very effective and it was his idea, too--he's been a big blessing already this semester.

My friend SY came by my desk--she said she's worried about me because of my isolated position, but she concluded that I'm ultimately alright because I have a bright face and strong mind, she said.
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Saturday, March 21, 2015

3-21-15 Best First Saturday Class Evarrrrr....

6:30 PM    Had a GRAND day with the Saturday English class.



I was under the impression that I had to get the introductory speech at our assembly, so I was really stressed about that, but it turned out that I didn't have to. Relief! I simply had to be present at the ceremony, which only involved smiling and waving.

My Hyunseo was the student representative for the kids, so he had to present the Vice Principal with a document and say some kind of "swearing in" pledge for all the kids entering the program. I told him he did a great job and that he had a really cool voice. He said, "I know."


I knew I was going to do a serious/interesting film discussion on the first half of Pride and Prejudice with the kids, but I was stressed about what exactly I'd talk about, I had an hour and a half between commencement and when I needed to start teaching, so I took that time to sling together a really cool outline of what I wanted to talk about.

Because I wanted to strike the right balance of discussing serious thematic stuff like Marriage, Finances, Social Hierarchy, the Importance of Manners, etc. and also making it fun and funny.

 


It succeeded beyond my wildest dreams.

The kids were the best audience ever. In the history of life. They kept laughing and answering questions and they were easily like my American kids back home. Our literature classes were always informative and funny and stunning, and this was just the same.

One of the girls had read Pride and Prejudice translated in Korean, so she knew the plot well. The other kids had no clue, but I was shocked by how invested in the story they were. The boys didn't know that they were supposed to have an innate male resistance to Jane Austen, so they were all up in it. (And now that I think of it, my own dad, who's one of the manliest men I know, has always liked Jane Austen, and I always admired him for it.)

We wrote essays at the end, and it was great. My next class with them, we'll watch the other half of the movie, and they're looking forward to it. I am, too. I just fed them Oreos today, but I might spring for for-reals baking next time.



I asked my JH about how he liked being a 2nd-grader. He immediately started talking about his homeroom teacher, NG. I didn't realize that JH was addressing a complaint rather than a positive attribute when he said, "You know, NG is very chic". I agreed and said he was a really cool person. JH looked confused, so later I looked up the definition of "chic" for Koreans--it doesn't mean fashionable, polished, sophisticated, like it does in English and French. It has some of that connotation, but it more commonly means "cold" or "stand-offish". 

So that's a little sad, that NG's not showing his warm side to JH yet. JH is made of hearts and moonbeams--he's designed to love and be loved, and I know his homeroom teacher last year (Adorable History Teacher, who moved to the boys' high school this semester), really showed him the kind of sweetness and appreciation that built up his spirit.

I saw Sangbin again, which was great. I love him so much and since he lived in America, i can be slightly sarcastic with him and he gets it and thinks it's funny. He asked if the 6 giant boxes of Oreos on my desk were for them, and I said no, they were my lunch because this is what Americans eat, and didn't he remember our lifestyle? He died over that one.

My and JY went out for lunch, along with Jung-Y Teacher, a math teacher who is a very nice girl (she's one of the people from my October vacation, though I haven't talked to her much since). We had good convo, mostly in Korean. It's good practice for me.

Got my  nails done! Which was a tremendous relief, since I haven't had them done since November. Too long to go without cute nail art! :-)
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Friday, March 20, 2015

3-20-15 Late #Thanks19, From Thursday

9:20 PM

Yesterday, my internet was not working too well, so I couldn't post anything. This is Thursday's stuff. I continue to not quite get enough sleep, but to still love my life and gratefully accept all that God offers.


From Thursday:

211. Sunny days after a deluge of rain.
212. Surprise ddeok from the new teachers, a little variety box showing just how diverse a food rice cake can be.
213. Hyunseo, just everything about my Hyunseo. So smart, so sweet, so clever. I'm lucky to teach him twice a week.
214. Orange flavored vitamin water. Are there any vitamins in you? I know not. For my part, I care not, for thou art delicious.
215. I-Love-Yous from Yeonghan, who first said he loved me two years ago, and who has always meant it, and always been a bright spot in every day.
216. SG, willing to go fetch the 3rd grade kids for me when they were confused about where they should be for class. Her willingness to help.
217. Getting to talk with a friend last night, realizing that so many of her concerns echo my own. Being able to offer her counsel and consolation because I've be been there.
218. Having strong arms, lean and steely and ready for anything! I feel like I could scale a wall, honestly.
219. My keychain, a length of ribbon with my USB, computer key, door key, and a silver cross pendant on it.
220. Anticipating my lunchtime walk with JY, since we have ample sunshine and balmy, breezy weather to enjoy.


그대여 나와 함께 해주오 이 봄이 가기 전에
B
e with me before the spring ends


11 AM: Gyuseong walked me to school this morning. He's a 3rd grader with surprisingly good English, who hangs out with Jeongminnie often. we discussed whether I'll be playing board games with the k the is at lunch time again this year. I think I should start.

Had Gyuseong in class today actually, a Giant Class of 3rd-graders where there are the grips combined into one. They were my first class that was not really fun. They weren't bad, just not enjoyable in the way that the other kids tend to be.

We'll just give it time! I'm sure they'll get more awesome with time--our first day was just a little confusing because they came to class late and didn't have their levels sorted yet.

Came downstairs to find Hyunseop, Sanghyeop, and Boulder Minsu talking animatedly with JY, and they were talking about me. Turned out, they were requesting to be taught by me since they dropped to C level, which is not where they want to be.

I've got one more class today--little 1st grades, which should be grand. Then I've got tomorrow, which is very very super full, and I've got stuff on the weekend, too.

Saturday class starts in two days, and I've got a fun lesson prepped for that. Then Sunday is preschool (Yoochiboo!) stuff at 11, go home then English worship at 4. Our new English pastor asked if I'd be part of the leadership and I said I would, so there's fellowship after the service, then leaders' stuff after that.

And I want to help, but the idea does occur to me that I'm really losing my sleep-in mornings. But Saturday class is only once a month, and it's not like I want to quit Yoochiboo teaching just because it means waking up slightly later.

It also occurs to me that when I become a parent, that may be the end of sleep-in days, period. Is it? Children=no more late mornings ever? Do I represent the end of my mother's rest? The nap stops here.

2:30 PM  Last class over. They were SG's kids, some of them and I seriously very very much like this crew. I'm having a little trouble with my co for this class, though? She's Mr. B's substitute and I can't quite jive with her style of class management (introductory speech to the kids about how their first infraction of the rules meant a warning, second infraction meant getting hit with the stick).

Which might have just been a speech with no intent to actually follow through, but it felt bad. It also got the kids dead quiet and stiff and worried when I wanted them to be opening their minds and unlocking their mouths to try a difficult and daunting language.

Anywhee, things ended up fine. She sat in the back and let me do my thing, and the kids left smiling. Right now my question is,  can I or should I ask JY to let me teach these classes on my own?

I've had many classes to handle solo in the past, so I'm fairly confident I can do it, plus these children know me enough to have an idea of my character--I don't believe they'll be a problem.

At lunchtime, I got to see Hyo a bit because he and I went upstairs to watch Gyuseong and Jeongminnie play chess. Hyo gates teased for walking with me, and now he's big enough to at least hit people for talking smack. I let him do it. I don't know how bad his situation might have been in the past or how it's affecting the present.

Now that its truly spring, the problem of 3rd graders and shirts, or the lack thereof, has again returned.  On my way to my last class, Soonhyuk was pulling on a shirt in the hallway instead of in his classroom. When he saw me coming, he lifted the shirt back up and asked, "best body,  right?" I told him that he was very strong and special. Hopefully, that one compliment will hold him, and we won't have to repeat this after every soccer practice.

Did I mention taking out a college friend of mine for coffee the other night? I met her at church and even though she's just here in Korea for one semester, she seemed well worth friending.

And it was fun for me, being the unnie again--the big sister. She's 20 and I'm 28, which was almost exactly the age spread between me and one of my best friends at home. we actually complemented each others traits pretty well. Around college students, I'm suddenly this seasoned veteran who knows stuff about Life and How Things Work. and I feel refreshed by her new happy-wonderment view of the world.

My dad sent me an email, encouraging me to ask God to show me things when I read the Bible. my first reaction was that that seems unlikely. I don't know why I look for and fully expect God to reveal things to me from things that friends say or things I read elsewhere, but I notably don't expect the Bible to do the same?   huh.  It's worth exploring. And I miss my Daddy,  I really do.

3:40 PM.  Okay, first thing I read in the bible was randomly assigned to me by a bible app--Joshua chapter 1. It's all this stuff about "every place the sole of your foot shall step, that have I given you" and "I will never fail thee or forsake thee" and "be thou very courageous" and "turn not aside (from the law) to the left hand or the right."


It was kind of splendid and scary. It was written about the Israelites occupying a country, but I feel like it has some application for me in my new place, too. Or is it silly to think that? I prayed for God to show me something in his word, and then I flipped open a bible so and THIS came out. Is it foolish to trust that process? I don't know. But I think those verses are encouraging.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

3-18-15 #Thanks18

201. Emailing my tutor, who is moving away, with a million nonsensical Korean questions, knowing she'll know exactly what I mean.
202. Cute little self-made bookmark, from an aquarium brochure, cut into the shape of a seal.
203.  Cool rainy morning with just a nice inbetween amount of wind. In the words of Percy Shelly, oh wind if winter comes can spring be far behind?
204. Navy and white polka dot dress, layered under a maroon sweater, neat as can be.
205. My sweet 2ndChanhee, yelling a greeting so I would come look at his hurt foot.
206. Rows of perfectly ordered desks
207. Looking forward to the Saturday classes and what I'll do with the advanced kids.
208. 1st-grades happily staring at me through the glass of the English room door. For behold, I am exciting and rare, like an albino squirrel.
209. Laughing with 3rd graders over little things.
210. Knowing the truth of salvation, that I've been saved and that I'm always loved.



11:30 AM   First class went fine. 3rd graders were charming and funny, and they think I'M funny, because most of them have never had me in class before, though I was excited to see several of my B-levels from last year moved up to where I am.

My awesome Hyunshik kept telling me, "eoryeowo..." "It's hard..." because honestly, being A-level can be a pain. The work is harder. But I alleviated it by playing them the Chronicles of Narnia at the end, a chance for all of us to kick back and have more fun.

The 1st-graders across the hall from the English room (class10) are officially getting proactive in regards to making my acquaintance. Earlier this morning, one of them named Ruk came into the room while I was talking to Jeongminnie. he introduced himself and smiled a lot, then after my last class left, he came back by again.

Ruk mainly wanted to ask how I spelled my name and to deliver a love confession in Korean. It was very respectful and nicely-worded, so I was impressed.  We left the classroom and as I was locking up, I heard Ruk's tiny-tiny compatriots in class 10 demand a progress report from him. "You didn't even get a kiss?" asked one child, who was almost small enough to fit in my backpack. I had no idea such things were even being dreamt of. What DOES run through the brain of a 1st grader?


12:30 PM    Hyo came by after lunch, to watch a movie with me, but I had to send him off with just some candy because I'm not really set up for having students visit.

Yunho is now almost-blocking me in the hallway. He walks up and parks himself like he's not going to move, them dances out of the way right before I have to push him. I remember back when he was little baby Governor Yunho in 1st grade, so small and bossy. He was a doll in class 9, with Deokrong and Criminal Beomjoon and Woohyuk and Laryngitis Seonghoon. How much they grow. 


3:15 PM. Had another good 3rd grade class. 3-1,3-2 were wonderful, very chant and jokey. Just my style. Happy times!
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Tuesday, March 17, 2015

3-17-15 Ponytails and #Thanks17

191. Green grape candies from my new 1st grade student Gyeongcheol. I noticed his smartness in class and at the end, as everybody lined up to get goodbye high-fives, he placed a couple of candies in my hand and said "seonmul!" Or "present!"
192. 1st-graders not wanting to leave class when it's over, saying "do we HAVE to go?"
193. Ponytailed hair, a nice change for the middle of the week.
194. Knowingly the Korean word for "" sleigh"--seolmae.
195. Little pink note-papers taped all over my text books, notes to myself.
196. Having a moisturized face , which made it through winter without chafing, chapping or cracking.
197. White marker board entirely filled up with my writing from class.
198. Knowing the school like the back of my hand, which stairs lead where, which rooms contain whom.
199. The serene in between moments.
200. Switching out my old book for a new book.


11 AM. Nice day, good morning classes, beautiful children.

1:30  PM.  JY has a long day ahead of her--6 classes, like my Monday, because she has to do extra to make up for going to Seoul that one day last week.

Went to the special needs room and Youngminnie was there! I knew he had autism, but SG said she didn't think he was participating in any of the special-needs activities. So it was nice for me to see him.

As soon as I walked in, he did his usual salute.  it involved standing up and saying in Korean,  "attention!  And now we greet. Peace be with you..." It's technically what the kids are supposed to do when their teachers enter their class the first week, but Youngminnie does it all the time and doors or solo, without the aid of a whole class to back him up.

And this time I was ready for his super-formal lunch question, because I had studied up. He asked the Korean equivalent of, "milady, hast thou or hast thou not dined already." And I answered with, "Yes, I hath dined."

Then I hugged him before going over to sit with Dohyun, our student with cerebral palsy. We held hands and talked about his new homeroom teacher and the nice warm weather we've had today.



5PM: Worth noting that I wore my hair in a ponytail today and everybody went nuts. JY told me it looked great and she never discusses my appearance, the kids remarked on it often, and Euiseon had a come-apart in class trying with great zeal to convince me that poinytails are the way to go in the future: "Teacher...hairstyle up? Yes, this. Better. Best hairstyle, yes." On the walk home, one kid (who I don't even know) yelled, "You are SO CUTE." in formal Korean. Maybe it's a look I ought to repeat, in that case.
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Monday, March 16, 2015

3-16-15 Archdukes and #Thanks16

7 PM:  Things I'm thankful for and what I did today:

181. My half-dry hair, changing colors from dark to light.
182. Broccoli in the fridge, greens on the stove.
183. A new English teacher saying my Korean pronunciation is excellent, like native speaker level.
184. Handshakes from half a million first-graders who have decided that hand-shaking is a very exciting short of thing to do.
185. Some of my B-level boys from last year moving up to A-level in the 3rd grade, so I get to have them in class. Chanhee, Changhee, and Daejeong.
186. New 3rd grade teacher at lunch, being pleasant and kind. New acquaintances are always welcome.
187. JY translating helpful phrases for me. Learned how to say, "how do they feel about each other" and "he feels guilty", all related to the Chronicles of Narnia film.
188. Solid sweet lemon candy, just on the verge of crunching.
189. SG's student, baby Youngminnie, asking me if I've had lunch, in the most formal language imaginable.
190. Breathing room, thanks to a sudden fire drill scheduled for this afternoon, I've got a wee bit of a rest--5 classes instead of 6. It's peaceful.




1:50 PM.  Doing all right! Got through 4 classes fine and now I've got a breather before my convo class.

I just finished reading a book called "An Abundance of Katherine's" and in this book, a bunch of wacky things happen, but one of them is that a couple of teenage boys go on a road trip that culminates in their finding a town in Tennessee which is the surprising final resting place of Franz Ferdinand.

Except it's not. This novel had me soooooo  perfectly convinced that the final resting place of Archduke Franz Ferdinand--he whose fateful assassination kick-started the World War 1--was somehow magically in Tennessee, but it's not. He's interred in an Austrian castle, like any respectable archduke would be.

Goes to show just how much fiction can affect real life. It actually reminds me of my dad's advice to read the bible for myself when I was younger. Because before you know it, you can rely on hearsay as fact; you'll can accept the word of preachers and teachers as if it was the actual word of God.

I recall a few times over the years hearing a message from a minister that contained something that was flat-out not in the bible. Most cases, I believe these were mistakes or oversights with no ill intent, but they sure SOUNDED accurate, so I would have beloved them if I hasn't checked the facts for myself.


Lessons learned: People are fallible. God's word is not. And the Archduke is not buried in Tennessee.



Saturday, March 14, 2015

3-15-15 Shopping Expedition and #Thanks15

2 AM:

Just now getting to sleep because I spent Saturday in Seoul, doing Spring shopping. Then when i came back to town at night, I needed to go out with a friend whose pet died. It's important to be with people when they're hurting. She and I went for late-night kimbap, then coffee, and I'm convinced that she's doing well.

Here's my thanks from Friday and today (Saturday), and some notes from Class on Friday and shopping today.



171. Busker-Busker songs in almost-spring. They're a Korean indie band known for their springtime songs and we are So. Close. To that time of year.
172. Walking to school with a new 1st-grader, Jinman, who made lovely conversation.
173. JY being back today--that neighboring desk feels more homey with her here.
174. My thumb joints. There's just something interesting about thumbs and their two hinge points, not three. 3-13-15
175. Subway for Myeongdong arriving just in time.
176. Sleepy train cars, full of peace.
177. Other women wearing cute shoes. Surprisingly, I'm happy just to see quality footwear on anybody--unique boots, shiny heels, etc.
178. A store with a lot of Jean fabric referring to it's upstairs stock of pants as "The Denim Bar".
179. Dresses on the rack, trimmed in lace and frills.
180. Western-ish fare for lunch, hamburger steak and fries. 
                              3-14-15


Friday, 9 AM

Happy morning! Saw Yunho in the hallway and he walked toward me with one hand raised in a curved pose that I recognized--half of a heart. I quickly figured out the counter-sign and touched his hand with my own half-heart as we passed, neatly as if we'd practiced it.

A minute later, I passed Soonhyuk, who looked upset and demanded in Korean, "with Yunho, did you do this, this, this?" He held up a half-heart hand and pointed to a smiling Yunho down the
hall. I said I had and Soonhyuk stomped off to say something fussy to Yunho.

On the walk to school, I had a really nice talk with one of SG's homeroom boys, Jinman, who stayed by my side for a long time and was excellent company.


Got 5 classes today-- 3 regular, then lunch, followed by 2 conversation classes, but I quite look forward to it--I'm privileged to get to do it.



Saturday, 1 PM: I was standing at the train station platform in my home town, reading "Catcher in The Rye," as I waited for the train. It's a book about a teenage boy who can't connect with anybody--he keeps trying to talk to people, and nobody listens or truly sees him, no matter how hard he tries.

I nearly jumped a foot off the ground when I heard a voice directly behind me say, "Spoilers; nobody talks to him."  It was one of my guy-friends in town, who had managed to sneak up and wittily comment on my literary selection instead of just saying "boo". It was a pretty awesome moment, I have to say.

 And my shopping expedition to Myeongdong is going well. I like wading through the aisles and racks to find MY colors, patterns, fabrics, cuts. It's soothing.


Thursday, March 12, 2015

3-12-15 Phones Confuse Her, and #Thanks14

161. The pretty face of my dear friend, SG, who is a dear ally in class.
162. The kindness of my vice principal.
163. Cracking myself up, preparing to relate a new joke to friends.
164. Warm inside-shoes at school. I Gary to stay toasty and insulated for another few weeks.
165. Knowing that while we're in Lion-March now (as in, March comes in like a lion), Lamb-March is not far away.
166. Emily Dickinson poetry, written by me on the whiteboard of the English room.
167. People who make anagrams for fun.
168. Strawberries for lunch, a red surprise.
169. Minhee's loud, brash voice blaring "hellooo!" While smiling sweetly.
170. SY's thinking about me, reminding me that we've got a vacation coming up.



11 AM: First two classes went fine. Darling 2nd grades, then quiet 3rd-graders, except for Jongyoon, who couldn't be quiet if his life depended on it. He was a bit annoying, but me and SG still handled things fine.

In funny news, JY is gone today, to take care of something, and when her desk phone rang I answered it haltingly, not sure of phone etiquette. I asked our vice principal how to answer the phone, like what set Korean phrases to use, and he said I didn't need to worry about it.

He solved my problem by sending out a message to every teacher in the school, asking them not to call JY's phone because I am there by myself, and I'm perplexed about how to answer.

It's exactly the kind of thing that would have mortified me once upon a time. But now I just has the reaction of surpressing wild laughter, because it's pretty funny that I'm a single woman earning my own living half a world away from my family, but to the older men in my life, I'm someone who needs to be protected from the hardships of phone-answering. It was awfully sweet of him, and I treasure that level of kindness.



1 PM : Lunch over, and it's right lonely without JY here. In 30 minutes, I'll be teaching SG's homeroom with her, which sounds fun.

Passed Jongyoon in the hallway, ducked out of an attempted hug-ambush from him, only to have Gyuhee do the same thing, only Gyuhee refused to be turned aside. Normally, if let him have one because Gyuhee is sweet as pie, but at the time there were older Guy-Teachers coming down the hall and I didn't want to look like a pushover.

So when I couldn't physically move him, I told him to quit, and that made him move. Gyuhee is a gentleman at heart.



2:30 PM: Had class with SG's homeroom! Suuuuuuper cute. And one of the tiny ones remembered me saving him last week. I saw a tall 1st-grader teasing an unfathomably small child by keeping his phone away, holding it just out of reach.

I could tell that it was done between at least acquaintances and possibly friend--they seemed to know each other and there was no fear or anger. But I could sense that the little guy was reaching his limit. I told the tall one to stop, so he did.

The little one is Seungwoo, and he told me in Korean, "You helped me." So. Sweet.

Also in that class is Youngmin, an unfailingly polite student with mild autism. He wanted to shake my hand many times and to ask me if I know how to sing Arirang. I do!


Wednesday, March 11, 2015

3-11-15 Why So Pretty and #Thanks13

Thank List:

151. Wise words from my mother.
152. Having a mirror that matches JY's--we bought 2 little desk mirrors.
153. Governor Yunho, always winking and blowing kisses, being his beautifully wacky and charming self.
154. The scald of a hot coffee cup, on the front and backs of hands.
155. Jaehoon, his glowing little face lighting up the office.
156. A note from one of King Sejong's famous letters to the people, hand-scratched by Jeongminnie and delivered to me. It's the equivalent of writing out the Gettysburg address and passing it along to your Spanish teacher.
157. Learning that Korean wasn't always written left-to-right like English. It used to be up-to-down on the page, like Chinese. It changed over recently--JY's mom used to read up-and-down books in school.
158. Finding Seven Brides for Seven Brothers GIFS on the internet. It's probably my favorite musical (splitting time with Singin' in the Rain, My Fair Lady, and The Sound of Music.). Reminds me of childhood.
159. Silver shiny sequins on the bag I carry to class. Reflection, illumination.
160. Brave 2nd-graders, making conversation on the porch while watching the soccer game.



10:20 AM

Slept a little in the English room and now I feel better. I was not in the best mood this morning, and rest seems to improve everything.

I think a lot of my goal for this school year will simply be staying well-rested enough to get classes handled.
---------------------------------

11:26 AM

First and only class went well, had nice 3rd-graders. Jonghyuk is a smart kid I've seen around town a lot, but I've never taught him until now. He and Guitar-Sanghwi understood basically everything I said. Yunho was Yunho. Everyone was pretty well entertained by the film and the discussion.
------------------------------

1 PM
After lunch, I stood outside and watched the soccer game while various 2nd-graders came by to chat. I talked with Byeong-il, Jaehoon, Dohyun, Dongchann, Joongsu, Jeongmook, Hansem and more. It was fun, despite the cold, and there were several more low-levels who got comfortable enough to come around and make a few comments.

Dohyun gave me his extra fruit juice cup, and I  really appreciated the gesture.

--------

2 PM

One of the 1st grade babies followed me up the stairs asking, "Why are you so pretty?" In Korean. Dawwww. We proceeded to have a conversation about his previous  elementary school's native teacher, all in Korean. What I figure happened was the little ones spread the word that I understand some Korean, and over time, kids began to understand 'some' as 'all'.

4 PM

Another small horde of 1st-graders came into the English room busy as I was leaving. They were there to clean the place, but their main order of business was to find out how old I was. I told them it's a secret, since I've stopped telling the kids my age.

I used to think complete disclosure was helpful, but it turns out the kids are plenty happy without the knowledge.
 ---------------------------------


Tuesday, March 10, 2015

3-10-15 Thunderous Applause and #Thanks12

7 PM:   Back home and feeling not too shabby. Today was not so tiring and the kids keep getting impossibly sweeter.




8:30 AM

Whew, I'm still feeling the sleepies. Yesterday, I took a nap at 5:30, then went to bed again at 10, and I didn't exercise and still it wasn't enough rest.

It's also super super chilly this morning. I wrapped up way more than yesterday and still feel the gale force intensity of it. But now I'm in the nice safe office.

Today's not so bad--just for classes with my much-loved 2nd graders, and tomorrow there's only one class! I ought to be well and truly recovered after tonight, I should think. And I need to regroup for the weekend, if I can--get ready to going on the Seoul shopping expedition I had put off.

"March comes in like a lion what else? Still the snow never melts. you're about to forget the whole thing. All at once, one day it's spring."


11 AM:

Had the cutest class ever with 1st grade. So far, the 1st-graders have been quite enthused to see me for the first time, but they've been less moonpie-in-the-sky crazy about me than their counterparts from last year. That might be about to change.

First grade class 5, SY's homeroom, were loud and chipper. They went fully banana sandwich when I entered the class and erupted several times throughout. Deafening applause when I wrote my name on the board in Korean. Further applause when it was discovered that I could actually speak and understand quite a bit of their language.

Near the end of the class, several of them tentatively asked me a question about future classes. I wasn't exactly sure what they wanted to know, or why five of the loudest kids in the class suddenly looked timid and careful. SG figured out that they wanted to know if I was teaching A-levels next week.

As soon as they learned that I am, they had a collective meltdown. Their cries of joy were so loud, I jumped back. It's going to be a fun ride with these little ones.

Met Yunho in the hallway. He held my arm and wouldn't let me go for a couple seconds, stopping my progress down the hall, just to show he could. Yes verily, Yunho, you are so big and so strong, how could we ever have doubted it.

Also, saw Clever-Sunwoo, my graduated student, on the walk to school this morning! So nice.


4:20  PM

Had a great last two classes. Second-graders in class 3 and class 5. And for the future I'll know that little Hansen in 5 will go Looney-Tunes crazy if he's not receiving attention at all times.

I really like Hansem, though. We were late in bonding last year because I didn't realize he WANTED to bond. Also I've got Jeonghwan in the class, wearer of braces, shouter of compliments, and general sweetie pie.

Thank List:


 141.  Sungjae, one of our special needs students, giving me a hug this morning.
142. Hair that tucks behind my ears. It's light enough now to do that.
143. Giving and receiving support with JY--Monday is my hard day and Tuesday is hers, but we both understand the other's hardships and react  accordingly.
144. Long sweater and leggings combo,  makes me feel very 60's while wearing it. And also kind of like a Charlie Brown character for some reason.
145. Warm body, cool face.
146.Practicing lyrics for a new song to sing at noraebang.
147. Still having the red cloth rose given to me by Minjoonie at graduation. Reminder of much-adored kids.
148. Nails almost long enough to get done again. Looking forward to it and considering patterns.
149.  Ddeok, fresh cakes of it waiting on the table in the big office. There are 20 varieties of ddeok, and all of them are filling. 
150. God's word, which I don't fully appreciate yet, but I want to. I warmth to know more.


Signing off! And tomorrow as always, I will make it my mission to: