It's sleepy-cold Christmas season, so everything's a little idyllic and lazy. I stayed up waaayy late last night, baking and wrapping presents and painting homemade Christmas cards. It was crazy, but it made me feel Christmasy.
It's a season about giving, so being a Person Who Gives makes things better for me. I baked an entire pan of banana bread for the principal and another for the vice principal. I baked dozens of peanut butter cookies for Mr. B, my Lunch Co-ordinator, and NG, with enough left over to have a lot to hand out to students who came by my desk today.
The girls I work with (HS, SG2, JY, KBR, the special-needs teacher, and my school-bestie SY) all got very prettily-wrapped beauty product present like peach-scented body wash and grapefruit lotion. I have a great fondness for fruit-scented anything, and it's better to not give girls food if you can help it--you never know who's on a diet, so I didn't bake for the ladies other than my lunch co-ordinator, who I know for a fact likes my baked goods.
The girls were all thrilled with their presents and with the hand-painted cards I made. SY had actually forgotten it was Christmas Eve until I gave her her present. She in turn gave me this cool grown-up coloring book called Secret Garden, full of groovy little drawings and treasure hunts.
I Can't Wait!
It actually looks great for stress relief and I think I could copy some of the designs for my own artwork in the future.
I got NG cookies, but since the girl teachers got nicer presents from me, I added some batteries (which he's always using in class, for microphones) and wrapped it up to look really grand. I gave it to him in our class together and he noted that as soon as I left, the kids were going to ask him a million questions about the gift. The kids are always curious about us and there's no really good strategy for dealing with their questions. But in any case, NG's one of my best friends and one of the people I respect the most, therefore I don't mind the hassle of the kids always staring and sticking to us like paparazzi trailing Brad and Angelina.
Most of my 3rd-graders were gone to the high school next door to take their placement test, which will determine their level within the school next March. It was dullish for awhile, but then all the 3rd-graders who were accepted to different high schools started coming by. Jihyuk sat with me and read a Dr. Seuss book and chilled for ages.
Jihyuk's pronunciation is quite nice, even if his vocabulary isn't as high as some kids. He's A-level and super-polite and charming. I rarely get to talk to him, but I got a chance to really appreciate him today.
Pray for my 2nd-grade Jeongmin. He's having hardcore depression issues and I'm concerned about him.
I got invited to the big teacher trip this weekend! I won't be going because there;s a scheduling conflict and I have to stay to interview students for next year's special English program. Which actually works great because I didn't precisely want to go on this trip, but I did want to be asked.
Before lunch, Mr. B called me downstairs and told me that the principal and VP specifically asked for me to come along, and the other teachers wanted me on the trip too, but that the other American, B-Teacher, was not invited. That felt a little weird, so i decided I would let JY decide it. She can be relied on to make good choices and I didn't really know what to do either way. So I won't be going, but I have the best of both worlds--nearly entirely free weekend, and also the knowledge that my presence was wanted.
One of my older co-teachers gave me a Christmas card today, saying she was thinking of me and praying for my future, and for some reason that card just made me cry. The second I finished reading it, I put a large number of tissues in my pocket, then walked down the hall to the English room, so I could have a good cry.
Because tears were imminent. I've been extra teary this holiday season, scarcely going a whole day without crying a little bit. Also, kindness is just my undoing--I can hold it together through anything tough, but as soon as somebody shows compassion or sweetness, I lose it.
This time, it wasn't just a small cry, like usual. I laid my head down on the table and fully sobbed, Knowing the double doors and the vestibule in the room would muffle the sound. Tears slid sideways off my face and collected in a sizeable puddle on the desk. It was a loud cry, too--coming not from the eyes and throat, but deeper down in the chest.
I just let it go on for 3-4 minutes, knowing I'd feel better when it was done. It was almost like vomiting when you're sick--you're not really in control of it, it's just something your body needs to do. If you try to hold it back, it won't go away, but if you let it run it's course you'll be cool.
It was the same way with me. After a good, hard sob, I put my face in order, then went back to my desk when my bestie SY was waiting for me. She and I chatted, then went to lunch together, and we were happy.
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