11:30 AM The kids are all taking exams today through Wednesday, so things are quiet.
I spent 2 hours of the morning writing a more detailed lesson plan for my winter camps. I had already done a 2-page plan in October, but I expanded it to 5 pages, and I feel like the whole idea is coming together much better now. I cut out the crafts component--to be frank, I'm just not the awesomest person at crafts, especially crafts I've never personally tried out before, so we're better off if the class sticks to things I do know rather than experimenting too much.
So far, the lesson plan leans heavily on film discussion and baking cookies, two areas of expertise for me. :-) Hee! It should be delightful, especially since I've got (I think) 1st-graders for 4 class periods a day, 5 days total. That's a lot of time, but through my afterschools I've learned a lot about how to construct enjoyable classes. And it can be practice for next year, too, when I've got a new schedule.
I got worried about my job yesterday, since I heard that in 2016 there won't be any more middle-school teaching in my area. For whatever reason, it came as a shock to my system--I'd hoped to stick around right here for another 3 years or so, but it might just be one more full year. I got to thinking about it I renew my contract in August, whether it would mean one last semester at my school before getting shifted to elementary.
For some reason, I let myself get really upset over possible future changes like this. I got agitated to the point of crying, and it was just a messy situation for me, yesterday evening.
Then I remembered that the Lord is taking care of me, by way of recalling an incident from that very morning when I was helping with the preschoolers at my church....
Seongwoon is one of my favorite babies. He's international age 2 (Korean age 4), so he's a bundle of wild energy, with the biggest heart and sweetest smile. His older brother is just a well-adjusted, lovely kid, but Seongwoon is a baby tornado. Seongwoon has lower lows and higher highs than his hyung. He's a climber; lose track of him for one minute and you're sure to find him scaling a stack of tables or clambering onto the piano bench, with his sights set on even higher ground.
When this happens, I go over to Seongwoon, give him a tiny lecture, and hold out my arms to lift him down. He jumps, I catch him, all is well. He takes his socks off and puts them on his hands then shows them to me because he knows I think that's weird.He runs around the room and comes back to where I am sitting to butt his head against my leg or shoulder until I pay attention to him.
In short, he just owns my heart. And yesterday morning as we teachers were getting the kids into their coats and boots (and seeing them out the door when their parents came by to pick them up), I noticed Seongwoon near the door, his face absolutely stricken.
I rushed to him to find out what was wrong, because something was surely awry for the Sunshine King to look so sad and I knew that tears were imminent. This dialogue happened in Korean:
Me: Seongwoonie, what's wrong?
S: Ma...mamaaaa.... *points outside the open door*
Me: Oh, baby. It's okay. It's okay. Mama's on her way.
S: *tears burst forth* *face is instantly soaked with the evidence of his heartbreak*
Me: *picks up S* *wipes tears* Look, look over there--it's okay. Just wait. She's coming.
S: Mama.... *further tears*
Me: *kisses cheek* Just wait 2 minutes. I promise she'll be here. She didn't forget you.
And sure enough, she came. For whatever reason, even though his mother has always, always come for him--had never NOT come for him--Seongwoon thought that she wouldn't this time.
Then I realized after several emotionally turbulent hours on Sunday afternoon was that I am Seongwoon. Standing at an open door, crying and worried and scared that I won't be taken care of. That even though God has blessed and protected me to the far corners of the earth, this one time he'll forget me.
It's not true. :-) I'm well-loved and of more value than many sparrows. God will come through for me this time as he does all the the other times. I've been given a future and a hope. I can wait by that door without any fear, because I know I won't be left behind. Someone is coming for me.
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