11 AM: 1-1, 1-2 B was fun because I got to oversee Sangho, Won, Soonhyuk and another kid playing Monopoly. And let me tell you, they were vicious. They crowed over little victories and fumed over losses. Soonhyuk, baby brother to adorable Sooncheon, did this incredibly dramatic Smaug-the-dragon breathing when something didn't go his way.
Soonhyuk would arrange his face into a mask of carefully-leashed rage, then he'd add to the illusion by breathing deeply and furiously blowing his bangs out of his eyes. It was such an interesting performance, I felt like applauding. I can only figure that Soonhyuk has decided that to be manly, one must be Very Angry and always Ready To Defend One's Honor. In contrast, I can't even image his big bro Sooncheonnie even acting annoyed, much less possessed by hardcore hostility.
I was glad for the chance to sit by Sangho and hear him laugh and offer him game advice, because I thought he resented me after he came to only the first day of Winter Camp and was never seen again. But we talked and chilled and all was good with Sangho. He was hilarious, too. He made fun of Soonhyuk for pointing to the other players and then himself while saying "me, me, me, you" when he meant to say "you, you, you, me". In Korean, the two words are actually really close--"me" = "na" and "you" = "neo".
In 2-3, 2-4 B it wasn't quite as fun because even though I brought four games for the boys to play, only two of the games got played since they were just fairly apathetic about existence, today. But I oversaw Seungah, Taejoong, Tall-Sweet Junho and B-Class-Byeongyoon playing Monopoly, and they had fun with it. Joonsang and B-class Minwoo had been given their own game to play, but they quickly abandoned it for the chance to hang out with us and watch our game.
In other news, Sanghwa grew out his fuzzcut and is even more cute, though I suspect he's still a baby cactus on the inside. And Afro Woojae cut his afro, and Redhair Joonyoung's hair is back to black. It's mind-blowing. There shall be chaos in the streets; or at least chaos in my mind as I take a while to process their new looks.
When I was packing up the games after class, I was tackle-hugged by my BY, and also back hugged by either C-class Jongmin or Wooseok--I couldn't tell which and either kid would not have surprised me. Wooseok was of course busy stealing the directions to the Monopoly game and requesting candy. I was so glad to see him again after not sighting him on Monday or Tuesday.
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2 PM: Thought I saw someone's Dad in the hall, but it was Byeonghyun! He has always had a mature face, but over the break, he's gotten to look like a full-fledged mid-thirties grownup. KBR-Teacher told me that she's often been surprised by him in the hallway and nearly bowed to him, because if you look at him suddenly, your brain tricks you into thinking he's another teacher.
But when Byeonghyun saw me down the hallway, he gave the biggest grin and the cheesiest massive wave with both hands. It was so unexpected, I burst out laughing. It was the cutest thing I've seen all week, and I've see a lot of cute. My boy is the best.
2-9, 2-10 A was fun. I came in with four games and three were quickly snapped up--the front row brainiacs were wanting the chess set, Seonwoo clamored for the UNO cards immediately (despite the fact that I've played at least 50 games with him--you'd think he'd be bored of it, but this was also the first time he got to run his own game), Yoonseong shouted dibs on the Halli Galli matching game, but nobody wanted the Monopoly.
They didn't know what they were missing. I went ahead and set up the Monopoly in the back of the room, with about 9 sluggish and uninterested boys watching the proceedings. But once they started playing, things got exciting. They had a lovely time and begged for another game, and Geon had some great questions about gameplay. He actually read the rulebook in English and asked me about a rule I had changed. It was very inspiring.
Seonwoo trilled that he wanted chocolate, so at the end of class everybody lined up for candy. I think I hurt one kid's feelings because his face drooped when I noticeably neglected to say his name. Going through the line, it was like: "One for Minjoon, one for Seonghak, one for Taekyeong, and...one for you." Nobody wants to be "you," though. Not when the previous 7 boys got name recognition.
Upsetting thing: I had to pull 7 boys off Seongwon in the hallway, near the lockers. I saw a large pack of my favorite boys who visit the special needs room, and they were all pushing somebody into a corner, piling on like players jumping on a football. I couldn't see the child they were pushing, but I had a good idea. I got them all moved, and it was Seongwon being smushed into the corner between the wall and lockers.
He looked fine. The boys told me 20 times in quick succession that it was a "game". "Game teacher, just game. Fun game." I took Seongwon's shoulder and asked him if he was truly okay. He looked unbothered and unflustered. I'm confident that he wasn't physically hurt, but he was at lest in discomfort. And if your friends all ganged up on you, would you be able to admit in front of a teacher that you weren't cool with it?
I started talking to a 3rd-grader while still staying in the vicinity, but Inha took that opportunity to shuffle Seongwon toward the lockers and push him again. I pulled Inha off and told him to cool it. He tried to tell me that it was all just fun (which is true for a lot of the kids--they play rough, but all is fair) but I told him that what bothers me is that in their friend-group it's always Seongwon who gets the brunt of things.
The boys smash each other up all the time, but I don't worry about Inha or Yeongchang or even Jaehyung, really. Because they gave as good as they get, or people eventually just sense a boundary and back off of them. Something about Seongwon seems to incite more violence in others. Maybe they sense an extra measure of weakness in him and they go after it, pushing things even farther than they would with another kid? And Seongwon doesn't put up a fight, he just goes with it like he's some zen master, like he has no nerve endings and no pain centers. It bothers me that he's not bothered.
And I could be overreacting. Maybe he's genuinely fine and the boys aren't overdoing it. But in my heart, I'm troubled. I'm praying.
Played chess with Daesung at lunch. He told me he's seeing my friend BC for a Saturday English class this weekend. But...I knew that BC teaches occasional Saturdays at our town's orphanage. That hiked up my suspicions and I finally asked, 대성아...어디 살아? = "Daesung, where do you live?" He typed in something in my phone dictionary that translated as "nursery school," which was not right, obviously.
I texted my friend and she confirmed that Daesung does live at the orphanage. All this time and I didn't know my boy didn't live at a home or an apartment. He told me that his mother lives in our town, but if that's true what kind of circumstances would lead to a mom living in a town while having her kid live at the orphanage? Abject poverty? Daesung's biracial and I think his father has either never been in the picture or hasn't been for a long time. Praying about all that, too.
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3:30 PM So I saw Seongwon 2 more times and he was fine. He was in the special needs room with the other kids, and nobody was paying him a moment's bit of negative attention. When I went to stand by Joonsung and listen to him play "Summer" one more time, Seongwon came up behind me and started playing with my hair. He's not constantly oppressed, but he's still oppressed more often than I'd like.
In 3-1, 3-2 B they were mostly sleeping, but I set a few of them up with games. Jimin reminded me that he'd seen me at the train station, and I affirmed that yes, I remembered his family. Some 3rd-grader I don't fully know saw me in class and said, "Oh pretty girl. Yes. My father? My father says you are very beautiful." I tried to ask who his dad was and when he had seen me, but the kid was gone again. But I walk everywhere in town, so it's most likely he was just riding through town with his dad and they saw me through the car window.
Dongheum offered me a high five, then cackled madly as I went in for it and he took his hand away, making me miss. I punched his arm and he fled into a circle of his friends, bragging about how he got me good that time.
And Taekyeong sang "Do you want to build a snowmaaaan?" at me, so it's not just Seongsu--the boys heard this somewhere. Maybe in the movie "Frozen"? There's a snowman in that, I think?
Update: Now that I had a clue about what it might be, I googled the snowman phrase. It is from the new movie. And it's a very poignant/sad song. One of the princesses in the movie keeps asking her sister to spend time with her, and time passes and passes. Here's a cover I found:
I had an extra rice punch drink cup left over at lunch, and I offered it to Daesung just at Jeongmin came into the office. Daesung accepted and Jeongmin noted, "You didn't give it to me." Because I've given him my spare juice and yogurt drinks before. I said, "I give you lots of stuff. I'm giving this to Daesung." Jeongminnie really cares about what he gets in proportion to what other boys get (sooooo much like my little brother...), but I make sure he doesn't go without.
I'm going with BC to the orphanage this Saturday. Can't decide whether to tell Daesung or surprise him.
Also remembered: 3rd-grade Teacher's-Pet Jeongmin made sure I noticed him before he left today. He waved at my from waaaay far down the hallway and I strained my eyes to see him. I said "Jeongmin!" just as he announced "Jeongmin!" after realizing that I was too far away to recognize him right away.
While playing chess with Saturday Jeongmin, I started out by making decisive moves with the bishops and knights, trying to get all the important pieces out in the open and maybe stand a chance of winning by just overcomitting and moving pieces recklessly before I could second-guess each choice. When he saw my change in gameplay, Jeongmin first said:
-"Hmmm, What are you thinking?"
As if he were pondering what clever new serpentine strategy I might be employing. He waited two beats, then said,
-"ARE you thinking?"
I died laughing because his second guess was correct--I was making crazy choices not because I was clever but because I was trying to move boldly and randomly.
As I was putting on my outside shoes by the door, I had my head bent down and I heard someone whistle. It was Byeonghyun, who brightly said "Bye, Teacher!" He wasn't about to walk past without getting my attention and saying hi, and Seongmo was with him and did the same. That made me so happy--I really adore those two, and I like Byeonghyun's recent trend toward sunniness.
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