Just inside the school gates, I got ambushed by BY, who grabbed my shoulders and nearly knocked me down. He was so proud of himself, gloating about how this was the first time he'd surprised me outside of school. He now thinks he can catch me anywhere.
We had a great conversation about the school election and how he had considered running, but didn't want the responsibilities of ruling. I told him that he cold just wield power behind the scenes instead of having an official position, and that seemed to be an idea he liked.
In the first two classes, I had 2nd-graders with NG-Teacher, then with H-Sol Teacher. With NG-Teacher, the sound didn't work on the computer, so we had to do our writing-speaking activity for 40 minutes, which was too long, but we got through. It felt fine to me--the boys practiced speaking, and I'm becoming better friends with them. NG-Teacher also seems to have fun with the kids; the clearly love him and he jokes with them a lot.
With H-Sol, she and I talked about Korea and which places I should visit on my upcoming short break in May. She lives in Daejeon, which is a much cooler city than the one we work in, and I said I'd been there for a few shopping trips. H-Sol also doesn't have to stay at work until 9 PM, so I think that SG2-Teacher might just have more responsibilities than most of the other teachers. Anyhoo, I like H-Sol and I enjoy talking with her. I've just got to make time to ask her a question every class period, so we can grow our friendship.
After my second class was over, a little flock of them followed me to my office for candy. I was only giving candy to 6 of them who had done really well on their worksheets. Then Mingi wanted to come with, so I told him he'd get candy, too.
Seonghoon is one of Mingi's BFFs, but even being besties didn't stop Seonghoon from saying Mingi shouldn't get candy because he's not in our class. I put an arm around Mingi and said in Korean that he was "a student I like," and the whole crew just accepted it. I did turn away my A-ban favorites Changyeon and Hyungro though, because they were crowding the office and were going to get kicked out if I didn't send them out first. I told them to come back later.
Leader-Jaehoon skipped by me in the hall to confirm that we're doing food in afterschool today. Yeppers! We're doing trail mix. Dry ingredients + adolescent boys = win. Sticky ingredients are less guaranteed to be a success.
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2:45 PM Completely wiped out and eating candy from Minchan. Thank the Lord I have 2 hours before afterschool, because Wednesdays feel like a marathon. This is the definition of a non-optimal daily schedule.
1st-grade babies before lunch were beautiful. My afterschool boys Leader-Jaehoon, Cheolho, Seongmin, Kyeongho, and Daehyun are in there, so I know quite a few little guys. Then there's BFF-Minjin, who is besties with Leader-Jaehoon, and Hyunmin, who calls me Amanda-Seyfried-Teacher, and Giseok who nearly fainted when I came near his desk, such is the strength of his affection.
We did some games on the board and had a good time with speaking practice and finding stuff in our crossword puzzles. During the "7 Things" game, we did "name seven things that Leigh-Teacher likes" and after naming kimchi and the song Let It Go, Jaehoon said "students!" which just warmed my heart. Little fellow knows he's loved.
The Lunchtime games were minus Jeongmin because he was in some kind of conference with his teacher. So I went to Sa-ban with Hyo and he, Hyunho and I started a game with Wonbin, a kid who had been dreadful trouble a couple of days ago when I had to confiscate a half-broom from him, which he'd been using to dole out blunt force trauma to someone else. But Wonbin's basically a tubby darling, violence aside. He just slid right into the card game, knowing he'd be fine. He's part of the group.
We were soon joined by Seongho, Gyuseong, Hyunwoo, and Subin, a strange little duckling who wears a full thermal winter coat with the hood up in 65 degree weather. I think he's protecting himself from notice.
And Rude-Jinsu from the day before definitely wanted to be let into the fold. I saw him looking grouchy over to one side, then I asked him if he wanted to take my place in the card game. I ushered him into my seat and gave him my hand of cards, then showed him how to play. He was quite happy, and it just goes to show that you can't take every grumpy kid at face value.
Had to stop Kyeongwon from spanking some other kid. Seriously. No sooner do I defend one boy from verbal or physical abuse of some kind, than they turn around and do something reprimandable their own selves. I had to give a whole speech on why we don't spank our friends. Teaching students how to be human beings is a weird exercise.
2-11 was nuts because it's a 3-class combination. Even with a microphone, the kids cannot hear because the room is so large and so packed with kids, sound refuses to carry. They weren't badly behaved, just chattery, and when you have 30 chatterers who have to have instructions explained individually...eh, it's difficult.
I did finally get mad at one kid who just would not stand up and say his part. I told him afterward that I wasn't really angry, but he didn't have enough English to care what I was saying. I'll try to make it up to him last week.
In this class is my adorable Heekyu and his friend Jiwon, both of whom I love. In the back, we've got Little-Minseok and Chanhee, and in the front by yo weH've got Joonseo, who wanted me to write his name down because I'd made him sad by not remembering it. In the middle, there's Smart-Myeongbae, Afro-Jiwoong, and Tan-Minhee. And also Prince Woobin, a perennial favorite of mine who always asks sweetly for help on his worksheet.
Class was not precisely frustrating because I didn't truly expect to get anything done, but it was a little surreal to be not-really directing that 5-ring circus. Also, I counted my classes...I have 6 with NG-Teacher every week. I have never had that many with a co-teacher before. Last semester, the most I had with anybody was 5 with Main Co and 5 with KBR, but KBR taught A-level which was easy and Main Co had 1st-grade with me, which was quieter.
I've got 10 classes a week with the exact same kids. Guhhh. Blub blub. *drowns in self-pity* We've actually been okay this week, though! It's hard but we get it done. I've stopped dreading 2nd grade classes, but I don't look forward to them, not yet.
And NG-Teacher and I talked about the class while it was happening, so that part was okay too, but I can't help but feel it could be real easy to get sick of each other when we have this many tough classes every week until always. The other co's have a maximum of 3 classes with me. I would love to have some more KBR in my life, truthfully.
Dongjin came by to ask for candy, but his homeroom teacher, M-Young told me not to give him any. I followed her advice, playing along with the joke that he didn't deserve it. Junho claimed to deserve candy on the basis of my being his girl, but that argument didn't hold up. Haneul said that he would go to class, but if only he could just maybe please have candy first? They all got shooed out by M-Young, but they were laughing.
Hyunmyeong embarrassed me in the hallway by yelling "Beautiful!" and throwing me a heart sign over his head. When they latch onto something that annoys me, they don't fail to keep it going.
Byeongjo stopped me in the hallway to tell me that he his "pure" and Kyeongbae is not. I don't know if he means pure-of-heart or that he just has superior hygiene.
And haaaa, Haneul crept back to the office and crouched down to ask for candy in a whisper, so M-Young teacher wouldn't catch him. Tricky but smart, that one is.
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9 PM: Well, it’s been brought to my attention (by my mom) that I’m complaining. Yeah. I am.
I’m complaining too much about work, and it’s not so much a
problem of complaining in my writing as it is the complainy-ness in my heart.
In my heart, it’s so much worse.
I resent the 2nd-grade kids for being hard to
teach. I resent whoever made the schedule for setting me up with the same kids
twice in a week. I don’t wanna do it, don’t wanna do it.
And though I’m getting along with NG, I resent him, too. It’s
hard for me to forget that he made me cry when I was sick. He didn’t mean to,
but still, he did. Then again, my Daddy has made me cry on many occasions,
which doesn't stop the wonderfulness of my dad. I’m simply not used to men
making me unhappy—I’m used to them being super-nice and not giving me any
difficulties.
I resent the fact that it was NG who had to tell me what I
was doing wrong in class. My flaws are not to be discussed, ever. When I was a
kid, I used to point out my own mistakes before anybody else had a chance to. I
tell you what’s wrong with me; you do not tell me what’s wrong with me.
But the truth is, class is only going smoothly now because I
took NG’s advice. He saw me drowning and tossed me a lifeline. I need to stop
hating the fact that I had to be helped. I should be grateful to God for
sending me a way out.
Underlying everything, I suppose I haven’t been grateful
enough to God. I want everything—an exciting country, and adoring, clever
students who make me look good. My 2nd-grade boys don’t make me look
good. They make me look 300% incompetent, but they’re my kids. They love me. I
love them. The ones I don’t love, I will seek out until I know them.
So my heart (as Yeats would say, the foul rag and bone shop
of the heart) is full of unthankfulness and stinting impulses. I need to
overflow with thankfulness to my savior, who gives me a chance to see these
great kids and to be a part of their lives.
----
And on to the rest of what happened in the day.
That weird episode with M-Young Teacher telling me not to
give Dongjin candy went terribly, terribly wrong. He came back to me later with M-Young
Teacher in tow, and he got her to tell me in Korean that he was a good person
and that he deserved candy. So I tried to give him candy, but then he would not
receive it. He had gotten his pride hurt so bad by her saying he didn’t deserve
candy and by me backing up her decision, that he shut down and wouldn’t even
take the prize he had fought for.
Lesson: don’t deny kids little nice things that could
improve their day, even when their homeroom teachers intervene.
But good things happened, too. I made trail mix for my
afterschool boys and they were so happy with it. I had bought giant vats of
choco-puff cereal, sweet puff corn, peanuts, dried cranberries and soft oats
and I poured bits of each into the chocolate tin I had from Jeongmin and shook
them up. I had prepared a powerpoint on trail mix and I made a worksheet for
them. I gave them all trail mix in a baggie and if they did their worksheet
describing the taste, appearance, and ingredients of the mix, plus their
favorite ingredient and what they would add to the mix if they made their own.
I got some good answers, and everybody got a second helping of the mix until I
had no ingredients left.
William-Jiyoon is gone all week for swim meets; he’s really
good at swimming he told me, and apparently it’s true.
Yechan told me, "You have blue eyes and blonde hair. You are 신기해요." (shingihaeyo) Neither he nor any of the other boys could translate this word into English, but I knew it was nice because he said it sweetly. I looked it up and the internet says, "It basically means fascinating/captivating in generally a positive sense. You can say "신기하다" when you watch or observe something with high interest or amazement." Very sweet indeed.
I learned the names of my troublemaker boys and I think one
of them gave me things to eat that he’d dropped on the floor but whatever—I was
more preoccupied with connecting with Glasses-Jihoon, the kid who was trying to
climb out the window and who had to give me his phone battery. Yesterday, I
told him he had amazing eyes, and it turned out that he was wearing lenses.
Yes, one of my 13-year-old boys was wearing cosmetic lenses, to
make his eyes looks bigger and prettier. It does work—the lenses give an anime
character effect, creating massive eyes. But even though I was complimenting
something that wasn’t real, Glasses-Jihoon seemed to feel closer to me regardless.
I know most of the afterschool boys now, and it feels like
one big family. They were all crowding in happily and Gyeongho helped me more
than anyone. I’m glad he could find a place where he was happy and helpful,
considering that he was crying last week over William-Jiyoon breaking his
ruler.
And! Leader Jaehoon and I go to the same church! When we
discovered this, we jumped up and down and did an epic high-five. Jaehoon is my
sidekick and my pal. He’s the best of the best. If I could keep this kid with me all day at school, I would. I don't have time to write half the stuff Jaehoon says to me.
On the walk home, Jeongmin walked with me. He was in the
office for some kind of meeting about the English program. Only he and Hyungro
from our school made it, it seems. Yejae and Jaewon didn’t even try out.
Jeongmin walked along with me and we ran across Seonwoo, who teased me and
about food, and Byeongjo, who tried to feed me the ramen he was eating.
While I was joking with Byeongjo, HH came up and took
up position on my right while Jeongmin stayed on my left. So we walked to the bus stop like that, chatting with two of my favorites. HH wanted to know how my day was and I whined about the 2nd-graders, about how they used to be so cute but then they went ballistic this year. HH pointed out, "He's a 2nd-grader," gesturing to Jeongmin. I said Jeongmin was different. He's a good guy and he's not crazy like some of the others.
We joked some more, and it was just the best thing to see both of the boys looking so happy when Jeongmin's been stressed lately. I think tomorrow the parents visit the school and Jeongmin says he's not worried because he knows his grades are great and his folks will be proud.
Baby Hyo just texted me pictures of the buildings he saw on his Singapore vacation. I gave him my number for emergency bullying situations, but I think it's pretty special that he wants to share his vacation with me. Sometimes they just need to share something they're happy about.
In addition! Today, Minchan came to the office to give me grape candy after I'd given him peanut butter candy. Then he made a second trip to the office to talk to me about my life. I was never so shocked.
Minchan: Teacher, where are you from? From England?
Me: No, I'm from America. Miguk-saram.
Minchan: Why leave America? Why here teach?
Me: Oh. because...dareun nara...different countries are exciting.
Minchan: Your home not exciting?
Me: It's...pyeonhae. It's comfortable. I like America, but Korea is exciting.
Minchan: Ah. *big smile* *waves bye*
It's amazing to me that his boy with his seemingly eternal glower should be smiling so much and so often and should want to ask me about my life and my reasons for coming to this country. How...how 신기해요. Amazing.
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