9:40 AM Morning class was good. I was tired and had to scarf down some food minutes before class, but it went fine.
It was 2-7, 2-8 and they were lovely. I spent too much time yesterday crying over the giant class and how horribly things with them were going. But Chil-Pal ban was great. I loved them and focused on appreciating and encouraging them. I noticed Yongsu, a quiet, good kid, for really the first time. Taeho's pronunciation was perfect. The low-levels were dolls. All was good in class, despite yesterday.
-------------------------
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Sunday, August 24, 2014
8-25-14 Giant Class, and How to Minister
10 AM:
Hahahaa, the new schedule is nuts. For morning class--first period on Monday--I had the giant class.
And dig this--NG wasn't there for the first 20 minutes. I was told which class to go to at the last minute, and NG wasn't told at all, so I had our large flock of little dudes all by my lonesome until he got there, nearly halfway through class.
I managed about as well on my own as I do with a co, but I was still glad to see him when he walked in the door to the kids' cries of "Wae Neutgyeosseoyo?" (Why late?) I managed to not yell at the babies, just calmly telling them to be quiet about eleventy billion times. NG did tell them that they needed to be quiet because we have zero time before midterms, and they need to learn all they can, so please listen to their native teacher and pay close attention. Aww.
KBR has been working extra hard to get me permission to go get my visa redone at immigration. Tomorrow, I'll hop a train to the next town and get my permission to live in the country revised, revamped and renewed.
I got some kind of spiritual thing going on and I don't know what it is or isn't.
At church yesterday, I got a distinct feeling that I should be helping with something in the church. No idea what--it was nothing so solid as being on the VBS committee or aiding the senior citizens. I have vague inclinations to help with the nursery, but I don't know if that's it.
Then I talked to my mom and dad on the phone, and they have very strong impressions from the Lord that I should be doing soemthing, too. Ministering/seeking the Lord/something.
And I realized that I've been in the country for a year without doing anything to bless other believers. I just made it to church most weeks, and called it a day. I was so concerned with survival, with doing well at my job, I didn't try to grow spiritually or share or God's word or anything.
My job was king, Especially in March and April. Even going to service was subject to being dropped so that I could have an extra chunk of hours to pour into designing lessons for the kids, to improve the drudgery of class. A lot of that work was done in the service of my own pride, too.
And I think I've held it against the Lord that He hasn't made himself more apparent to me. So many years in dead churches or flaggign churches--going to college, not finding the spiritual awakening I expected, going to grad school, finding closed spiritual doors at every turn, going to Korea and finding nice churches but not that kind of evangelical fire that people talk about...
I guess I just expected it to fall into my lap. One day, you stumble onto God Stuff and it changes you, so I supposed.
Maybe that theory's still right. It's been suggested that I should travel around to different services, seeking the Lord, but I don't want to do that. I've already done the thing where I assume God's awesomeness is at a place and it's a thing independent of me, connected to whether I get to the place or not.
I think I need to do something at my little church in town.
And that's going to be hard enough and counter-intuitive enough, since I can't even talk to our pastor and church members, most of them. And I'm used to the path of lofty disdain. I'm better than you and you know it, was/is my attitude in most church-situations.
I don't even know what I'm supposed to want anymore.
But God knows. I spent all the minutes before bed last night just saying out loud, "I don't know, I don't know, God, I don't know." Physically and professionally, I'm good. Emotionally, I'm pretty buouyant, but for this other thing...maybe it's something that will require a mixture of God's revelation and my own nose-to-the-grindstone willingness to simply work.
-------------------
Hahahaa, the new schedule is nuts. For morning class--first period on Monday--I had the giant class.
And dig this--NG wasn't there for the first 20 minutes. I was told which class to go to at the last minute, and NG wasn't told at all, so I had our large flock of little dudes all by my lonesome until he got there, nearly halfway through class.
I managed about as well on my own as I do with a co, but I was still glad to see him when he walked in the door to the kids' cries of "Wae Neutgyeosseoyo?" (Why late?) I managed to not yell at the babies, just calmly telling them to be quiet about eleventy billion times. NG did tell them that they needed to be quiet because we have zero time before midterms, and they need to learn all they can, so please listen to their native teacher and pay close attention. Aww.
KBR has been working extra hard to get me permission to go get my visa redone at immigration. Tomorrow, I'll hop a train to the next town and get my permission to live in the country revised, revamped and renewed.
I got some kind of spiritual thing going on and I don't know what it is or isn't.
At church yesterday, I got a distinct feeling that I should be helping with something in the church. No idea what--it was nothing so solid as being on the VBS committee or aiding the senior citizens. I have vague inclinations to help with the nursery, but I don't know if that's it.
Then I talked to my mom and dad on the phone, and they have very strong impressions from the Lord that I should be doing soemthing, too. Ministering/seeking the Lord/something.
And I realized that I've been in the country for a year without doing anything to bless other believers. I just made it to church most weeks, and called it a day. I was so concerned with survival, with doing well at my job, I didn't try to grow spiritually or share or God's word or anything.
My job was king, Especially in March and April. Even going to service was subject to being dropped so that I could have an extra chunk of hours to pour into designing lessons for the kids, to improve the drudgery of class. A lot of that work was done in the service of my own pride, too.
And I think I've held it against the Lord that He hasn't made himself more apparent to me. So many years in dead churches or flaggign churches--going to college, not finding the spiritual awakening I expected, going to grad school, finding closed spiritual doors at every turn, going to Korea and finding nice churches but not that kind of evangelical fire that people talk about...
I guess I just expected it to fall into my lap. One day, you stumble onto God Stuff and it changes you, so I supposed.
Maybe that theory's still right. It's been suggested that I should travel around to different services, seeking the Lord, but I don't want to do that. I've already done the thing where I assume God's awesomeness is at a place and it's a thing independent of me, connected to whether I get to the place or not.
I think I need to do something at my little church in town.
And that's going to be hard enough and counter-intuitive enough, since I can't even talk to our pastor and church members, most of them. And I'm used to the path of lofty disdain. I'm better than you and you know it, was/is my attitude in most church-situations.
I don't even know what I'm supposed to want anymore.
But God knows. I spent all the minutes before bed last night just saying out loud, "I don't know, I don't know, God, I don't know." Physically and professionally, I'm good. Emotionally, I'm pretty buouyant, but for this other thing...maybe it's something that will require a mixture of God's revelation and my own nose-to-the-grindstone willingness to simply work.
-------------------
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
8-21-14 Crying, and Vacations
2 PM
I'm tired-ish and medium-miserable, and I've already cried at school today.
My giant class was a nightmare. Actually, it wasn't. I'm being overly dramatic. They just ignored me to the point that I stopped their game 5 minutes in to go talk to NG about how on earth to manage our mess of a class.
He said he didn't know either. I'd already yelled at the kids twice. I can't begin to tell you how loud they are, and how infinitely interested in each other. There are 30 of them, and they're all best friends and they can't wait to chat to each other, and they are 30 shades of unmanageable. They're not mean or crazy--just loud and thoroughly disinterested in what I'm doing.
I will now, once and for all, give up yelling at them to be quiet.
At full volume with a microphone, I can only succeed in shutting them up for 30 seconds. And then, after yelling, I'm tired and angry at them for being so unmanageable.
I'm done. If I have to speak in a baby-quiet voice into a microphone and teach 5 kids in the front row while the others ignore me, that's what we'll do.
But after I talked with NG, I did go back and finish the game. And got way more responses than I thought I would. I had 9 names on the board, of kids who were responding. Yeongchan, Joohyun, Joonseo, Hyo, Jeongmin, Myeongbae, Chanjin, Jeongho and more were invested in the game and in learning.
I will let go of the big class. I will stop trying to be the good teacher who controls things and gets the kids to learn. It can't be done by force, not with these babies. I will lose control, but I will maintain my peaceful heart.
I think I've also been frustrated with NG. He's the Korean teacher, and he's a guy, so he should be able to get everybody in line, says my brain. Mr. B could almost always get the tough classes in line last year, but not so with NG. He's all things calm and quiet, and I have by far the more forceful personality of the two. If I can't make the kids chill out, he certainly can't and I think I've been angry with him over that.
Because it makes me look bad. It's the co-teacher's job to keep order and translate while I conduct class, and when that isn't happening I get really annoyed. I've already got so much else on my plate, making curriculum and games for these kids, can't I at least have a Co who can whip everybody into shape?
And then I remember that I'm terribly fond of NG, and that this isn't his fault. Having a quiet voice and a peaceful personality is sort of a gift, after all; not something I could undervalue. Also, he's sick. He's had a cold for days, and it's been getting worse. I should show a little more care for a friend who is tired and hurt. After all, the thing that made me dislike him so strongly at the start of the year was the fact that he treated me (I thought) thoughtlessly and coldly when I was sick.
Maybe God's given me this situation as a way to grow my compassion. Can I see someone in my exact bad situation, and show them the courtesy that I had wanted to receive? I hope so.
----------------------------------------------
3:30 PM: Feeling better! Happy and humming.
I taught 2-5, 2-6 with H-Sol, and it was quite fun. Normally, 5-6 barely gives a care about work, but today they were totally in the games and having a lovely time. I could have squeezed all their little faces and patted their heads for joy. H-Sol and I got to talk more, too. I wanted to go out of my way to connect with her.
Minsik won the game in class, which he has never done before. He was nearly bursting with pride when he followed me to my office for candy, so that made my heart brighten.
SG2 asked me if I want to go on a mini-vacation with her in October. I think I'm on board, and she wants to know if H-Sol would be interested in going, too, kind of as a bonding exercise among the girls of the English department. I told H-Sol about, and I think we're all going to start emailing soon. Here's hoping that it goes lovely!
I never thought I'd be the "vacationing to cool places" kind of person, but in Korea I'm always going somewhere fun for mini-holidays. Busan in May, Jeonju in July, Jeju coming up in September, and hopefully this new place with SG2 in October...dude. I'm really living an exciting, fun life, aren't I? I'm really psyched about the possibilities.
Jeongmin and Hyo wrote me encouragement notes and left them in my sketchbook. Super sweet. Deokryong came by to do a high-fave and tell me my hands are soft. After that, he asked for my tangerine lotion, which we've been sharing for days. He's probably the only 2nd-grader with babysmooth citrus-scented hands.
It's a bit rainy, but LSH teacher (one of the older men) says he'll drive me home from school as he often does. I'm in a good place.
---------------------------------------
I'm tired-ish and medium-miserable, and I've already cried at school today.
My giant class was a nightmare. Actually, it wasn't. I'm being overly dramatic. They just ignored me to the point that I stopped their game 5 minutes in to go talk to NG about how on earth to manage our mess of a class.
He said he didn't know either. I'd already yelled at the kids twice. I can't begin to tell you how loud they are, and how infinitely interested in each other. There are 30 of them, and they're all best friends and they can't wait to chat to each other, and they are 30 shades of unmanageable. They're not mean or crazy--just loud and thoroughly disinterested in what I'm doing.
I will now, once and for all, give up yelling at them to be quiet.
At full volume with a microphone, I can only succeed in shutting them up for 30 seconds. And then, after yelling, I'm tired and angry at them for being so unmanageable.
I'm done. If I have to speak in a baby-quiet voice into a microphone and teach 5 kids in the front row while the others ignore me, that's what we'll do.
But after I talked with NG, I did go back and finish the game. And got way more responses than I thought I would. I had 9 names on the board, of kids who were responding. Yeongchan, Joohyun, Joonseo, Hyo, Jeongmin, Myeongbae, Chanjin, Jeongho and more were invested in the game and in learning.
I will let go of the big class. I will stop trying to be the good teacher who controls things and gets the kids to learn. It can't be done by force, not with these babies. I will lose control, but I will maintain my peaceful heart.
I think I've also been frustrated with NG. He's the Korean teacher, and he's a guy, so he should be able to get everybody in line, says my brain. Mr. B could almost always get the tough classes in line last year, but not so with NG. He's all things calm and quiet, and I have by far the more forceful personality of the two. If I can't make the kids chill out, he certainly can't and I think I've been angry with him over that.
Because it makes me look bad. It's the co-teacher's job to keep order and translate while I conduct class, and when that isn't happening I get really annoyed. I've already got so much else on my plate, making curriculum and games for these kids, can't I at least have a Co who can whip everybody into shape?
And then I remember that I'm terribly fond of NG, and that this isn't his fault. Having a quiet voice and a peaceful personality is sort of a gift, after all; not something I could undervalue. Also, he's sick. He's had a cold for days, and it's been getting worse. I should show a little more care for a friend who is tired and hurt. After all, the thing that made me dislike him so strongly at the start of the year was the fact that he treated me (I thought) thoughtlessly and coldly when I was sick.
Maybe God's given me this situation as a way to grow my compassion. Can I see someone in my exact bad situation, and show them the courtesy that I had wanted to receive? I hope so.
----------------------------------------------
3:30 PM: Feeling better! Happy and humming.
I taught 2-5, 2-6 with H-Sol, and it was quite fun. Normally, 5-6 barely gives a care about work, but today they were totally in the games and having a lovely time. I could have squeezed all their little faces and patted their heads for joy. H-Sol and I got to talk more, too. I wanted to go out of my way to connect with her.
Minsik won the game in class, which he has never done before. He was nearly bursting with pride when he followed me to my office for candy, so that made my heart brighten.
SG2 asked me if I want to go on a mini-vacation with her in October. I think I'm on board, and she wants to know if H-Sol would be interested in going, too, kind of as a bonding exercise among the girls of the English department. I told H-Sol about, and I think we're all going to start emailing soon. Here's hoping that it goes lovely!
I never thought I'd be the "vacationing to cool places" kind of person, but in Korea I'm always going somewhere fun for mini-holidays. Busan in May, Jeonju in July, Jeju coming up in September, and hopefully this new place with SG2 in October...dude. I'm really living an exciting, fun life, aren't I? I'm really psyched about the possibilities.
Jeongmin and Hyo wrote me encouragement notes and left them in my sketchbook. Super sweet. Deokryong came by to do a high-fave and tell me my hands are soft. After that, he asked for my tangerine lotion, which we've been sharing for days. He's probably the only 2nd-grader with babysmooth citrus-scented hands.
It's a bit rainy, but LSH teacher (one of the older men) says he'll drive me home from school as he often does. I'm in a good place.
---------------------------------------
Monday, August 18, 2014
8-19-14 Hyunkyeong, and All Women Like Roses
9:20 AM
First period is cancelled because the 3rd-graders are doing something in the gym, so I'm getting to work on stuff and chill.
Slept 14 hours last night, so I'm getting close to well-rested and getting my sleep schedule back on track. Yippee!
Still raining today, and it's supposed to rain all week. July is supposedly the rainy season in Korea, but our July was fairly dry and all the moisture is building up and hitting now.
This morning, America Hyunkyeong and another boy were waitign outside the school in plainclothes, talking to different kids as they went through. Hyunkyeong greeted me brightly, and I smiled and told him to call me teacher after he said my name, which was something he'd never managed to remember last year. He then surprised me by asking me in formal language if I remembered him. I countered that of course I did. I liked him bunches and even wrote a poem about our conversations. He's still my boy, even after graduation.
Good thing I loaded up on snacks for today, because B-Teacher didn't have breakfast and i was able to offer him snack cakes and an apple to help. Always brign extra, because you never know who's going to be hungry!
------------------------------
10:15 AM Hyunkyeong came by the office! Score and score. He waved at me from outside the room, and I wondered why he didn't come in. He sent a 3rd-grader in to get JY-teacher, who was his homeroom teacher last year. WHen she went out, I knew they were going to have a big, long talk, because when the boys come back to see their teachers, it's always joyful and frequently tearful.
I waited awhile, until I heard him saying goodbye to her, then I stepped out into the hall to give him a pack of apple-jam cookies. He refused twice, but the third time I made him take it. I noticed his face was tear-streaked form talking with JY, and I knew it had been another crying reunion He called my name when I stepped back in the office, and said in Korean, "I am saying to you..." then in English, "thank you." Daww.
--------------------------------------
2:40 PM: Youngmin, Sunwoo, and HH came by the desk to talk and obtain food. They also all happily fussed over my fish, who is sitting in a bowl on my desk after Minjoonie brought him back.
And I suppose I should be happy for my fish's great health because HH told me that Minjoon's fish collection suffered a plague this summer. One fish came down with a disease and soon thirty fish were belly-up. But not my little flutterer. Because he's a beta fish, he had to be kept separate from all the other fishies, thereby saving his life. Whew!
Youngmin asked what was my favorite flower, and I said roses. HH asked if this was really true and I said yes, all women like roses--he could ask any lady and get the same answer. He instantly turned to Sunwoo and asked, "jangmi johahae?"(do you like roses?). I had to punch his arm for that one, but the timing was pretty hilarious, all things considered.
Talked to one of the PE Teachers at lunch. It was really nice to have an English conversation with somebody not in the English department. Then I walked around the soccer field with H-Sol teacher and we bonded a bit over conversation. Oh, the fun.
Jeongmin, Hyunho, and Hyo were back for games during the lunch period and Hyunho actually ate some lunch today, so score. Showed those three, plus HH and Yonghan pictures of me and my baby brother taken over vacation--they say he doesn't look like the elementary student that he is; he looks like middle or even high school. I told them it must be the angle of the shot.
------------------------------------------------
First period is cancelled because the 3rd-graders are doing something in the gym, so I'm getting to work on stuff and chill.
Slept 14 hours last night, so I'm getting close to well-rested and getting my sleep schedule back on track. Yippee!
Still raining today, and it's supposed to rain all week. July is supposedly the rainy season in Korea, but our July was fairly dry and all the moisture is building up and hitting now.
This morning, America Hyunkyeong and another boy were waitign outside the school in plainclothes, talking to different kids as they went through. Hyunkyeong greeted me brightly, and I smiled and told him to call me teacher after he said my name, which was something he'd never managed to remember last year. He then surprised me by asking me in formal language if I remembered him. I countered that of course I did. I liked him bunches and even wrote a poem about our conversations. He's still my boy, even after graduation.
Good thing I loaded up on snacks for today, because B-Teacher didn't have breakfast and i was able to offer him snack cakes and an apple to help. Always brign extra, because you never know who's going to be hungry!
------------------------------
10:15 AM Hyunkyeong came by the office! Score and score. He waved at me from outside the room, and I wondered why he didn't come in. He sent a 3rd-grader in to get JY-teacher, who was his homeroom teacher last year. WHen she went out, I knew they were going to have a big, long talk, because when the boys come back to see their teachers, it's always joyful and frequently tearful.
I waited awhile, until I heard him saying goodbye to her, then I stepped out into the hall to give him a pack of apple-jam cookies. He refused twice, but the third time I made him take it. I noticed his face was tear-streaked form talking with JY, and I knew it had been another crying reunion He called my name when I stepped back in the office, and said in Korean, "I am saying to you..." then in English, "thank you." Daww.
--------------------------------------
2:40 PM: Youngmin, Sunwoo, and HH came by the desk to talk and obtain food. They also all happily fussed over my fish, who is sitting in a bowl on my desk after Minjoonie brought him back.
And I suppose I should be happy for my fish's great health because HH told me that Minjoon's fish collection suffered a plague this summer. One fish came down with a disease and soon thirty fish were belly-up. But not my little flutterer. Because he's a beta fish, he had to be kept separate from all the other fishies, thereby saving his life. Whew!
Youngmin asked what was my favorite flower, and I said roses. HH asked if this was really true and I said yes, all women like roses--he could ask any lady and get the same answer. He instantly turned to Sunwoo and asked, "jangmi johahae?"(do you like roses?). I had to punch his arm for that one, but the timing was pretty hilarious, all things considered.
Talked to one of the PE Teachers at lunch. It was really nice to have an English conversation with somebody not in the English department. Then I walked around the soccer field with H-Sol teacher and we bonded a bit over conversation. Oh, the fun.
Jeongmin, Hyunho, and Hyo were back for games during the lunch period and Hyunho actually ate some lunch today, so score. Showed those three, plus HH and Yonghan pictures of me and my baby brother taken over vacation--they say he doesn't look like the elementary student that he is; he looks like middle or even high school. I told them it must be the angle of the shot.
------------------------------------------------
8-18-14 Happiness, Seungyeop, and Eye Surgery
4:15 PM I am as tired as cheese on toast.
So tired I can't even make decent analogies anymore. But I kept my energy up all through the day, and taught my classes happily. People commented on how light my mood seemed to be and how happy I was.
It's cause I asked God to give me joy in my heart today, so I could bless others.
I was walking to school in the rain, with swollen feet-ankles-calves (because now my feet swell dreadfully when I fly), and fully conscious of the fact that I'd gained five pounds at least from overindulging during my vacation home.
(That's another story--the extreme body-consciousness that comes with living in Korea. The extraordinary slimness of my female co-workers, and the fact that yes, people can see the addition of five pounds easily and will feel it their duty to comment on it. I was certain that someone would level an unkind observation my way, and I was ticked about that possibility. I didn't happen--it was a baseless hear--and the Lord let me have kindness and love toward people I was ready to view with worried caution.)
But I also had the joy of the fact that my Mommy was well and mostly-healthy when I left home. That I saw my family safely moved into their new house. That my dad's strong and holding up well under his new challenges. God loves and tends to my family. I can love and tend to others.
I worked extensively with Seungyeop today....
It was in 2nd grade, which I had with SG2, and I asked the boys to write 25 English words; just the first words they could think of. I sat down with Minjong and Seungyeop and just worked with them on their word lists.
And as I sat with them, I realized they were incredibly intelligent, they just didn't have a huge vocabulary and they needed a little nudging along the right lines to get their words down. But it was exactly like teaching writing to my students back home, but at the language level.
At one point, I just sat there and pointed to a dozen different parts of my face so Seungyeop could get eye, ear, nose, neck etc. It was lovely. He was genuinely interested in learning how to spell these words. I was blown away by how much I enjoyed his company and his bright brain. My goodness. If I could, I would spend all my time doing one-on-one with these guys, because they are splendid.
For lunchtime games, Jeongmin, Hyo, and Hyunho came down to play Scrabble with me. My beautiful Hyunho is sharp as a whip but I sometimes have to explain to him very basic things about the nature of reality--I told him today that vampires aren't real, and I would swear that my boy genuinely didn't know whether they were or not, because he's been astounded by the reality/non-reality of obvious things before. He followed up by asking me if Catholic priests were real. Erm, yes, baby-boo. There have been documented sightings of them, from credible sources.
My Hyo was sitting with the lady-teachers at lunch. That is not good, because it means he's an outcast, unable to sit with any of the other kids. Hyunho was playing with Hyo's hair at my desk, and said "So much stress, but his hair not white." Hyunho was looking for signs of stress-related white hair. I said the Hyo had a good heart and that was what mattered, and Hyunho said "Yes, he is very stress, but his heart not...angry".
I brought two giant apples to work to eat today, but gave them both away to Jaehee and Deokrong respectively, since they were hungry. And I still had nothing left to offer a hungry Hyunho--but today I bought infinite snacks, so I'll have plenty for the young'uns tomorrow.
Youngmin dropped from A-ban to B-ban, so I can't teach him English this semester. He is royally bummed about that. KBR says she's going to try to get him transferred back, though I don't know how that will work, seeing as how he actually placed lower in his midterms and finals.
My sparkly-sweet Yeonghan told SG2 that her new hairstyle didn't look good. He was just teasing, but I couldn't let that comment slide. I told him not to say such things and that SG2 was flat-out beautiful, which is no exaggeration. He said in English that I was prettier than her, with both of us standing right there, and I punched him in the arm a few times. That child is still bedecked with a halo and wings in my view, but it's also about time he ended his reign as an insult comic.
Hugged BY this morning, saw BH by the basketball court, hugged Jaehyung and let him play with my hair for forever while he listened to me and Jeongmin chat. HH came by twice to talk just a little, I went by the special-needs room to see Seongwonnie and Dohyun, and Minjoonie assured me that he'll bring my fish back tomorrow. All's well with most of my crew of loved ones.
My friend O-Teacher's eyes are a little swollen today. Because she had double-eyelid surgery recently. No doubt, her eyes look bigger and more conventionally attractive by western stardards, but it hurts me that she felt she had to live up to those standards. You shouldn't have to cut your face to be pretty. But this was her fully informed choice as a mid-twenties adult, and I just have to support her and tell her that she's amazing in any case. It's not my place to show disapproval.
KBR liked the new game I made, so much in fact that she asked for a copy of the file, so she could use it to teach English cooking vocabulary to her students. Score!!! This has never happened before, and I couldn't be happier.
So I loved people today, and was loved in return. The Lord blesses and blesses, and doesn't hold back.
------------------------
So tired I can't even make decent analogies anymore. But I kept my energy up all through the day, and taught my classes happily. People commented on how light my mood seemed to be and how happy I was.
It's cause I asked God to give me joy in my heart today, so I could bless others.
I was walking to school in the rain, with swollen feet-ankles-calves (because now my feet swell dreadfully when I fly), and fully conscious of the fact that I'd gained five pounds at least from overindulging during my vacation home.
(That's another story--the extreme body-consciousness that comes with living in Korea. The extraordinary slimness of my female co-workers, and the fact that yes, people can see the addition of five pounds easily and will feel it their duty to comment on it. I was certain that someone would level an unkind observation my way, and I was ticked about that possibility. I didn't happen--it was a baseless hear--and the Lord let me have kindness and love toward people I was ready to view with worried caution.)
But I also had the joy of the fact that my Mommy was well and mostly-healthy when I left home. That I saw my family safely moved into their new house. That my dad's strong and holding up well under his new challenges. God loves and tends to my family. I can love and tend to others.
I worked extensively with Seungyeop today....
It was in 2nd grade, which I had with SG2, and I asked the boys to write 25 English words; just the first words they could think of. I sat down with Minjong and Seungyeop and just worked with them on their word lists.
And as I sat with them, I realized they were incredibly intelligent, they just didn't have a huge vocabulary and they needed a little nudging along the right lines to get their words down. But it was exactly like teaching writing to my students back home, but at the language level.
At one point, I just sat there and pointed to a dozen different parts of my face so Seungyeop could get eye, ear, nose, neck etc. It was lovely. He was genuinely interested in learning how to spell these words. I was blown away by how much I enjoyed his company and his bright brain. My goodness. If I could, I would spend all my time doing one-on-one with these guys, because they are splendid.
For lunchtime games, Jeongmin, Hyo, and Hyunho came down to play Scrabble with me. My beautiful Hyunho is sharp as a whip but I sometimes have to explain to him very basic things about the nature of reality--I told him today that vampires aren't real, and I would swear that my boy genuinely didn't know whether they were or not, because he's been astounded by the reality/non-reality of obvious things before. He followed up by asking me if Catholic priests were real. Erm, yes, baby-boo. There have been documented sightings of them, from credible sources.
My Hyo was sitting with the lady-teachers at lunch. That is not good, because it means he's an outcast, unable to sit with any of the other kids. Hyunho was playing with Hyo's hair at my desk, and said "So much stress, but his hair not white." Hyunho was looking for signs of stress-related white hair. I said the Hyo had a good heart and that was what mattered, and Hyunho said "Yes, he is very stress, but his heart not...angry".
I brought two giant apples to work to eat today, but gave them both away to Jaehee and Deokrong respectively, since they were hungry. And I still had nothing left to offer a hungry Hyunho--but today I bought infinite snacks, so I'll have plenty for the young'uns tomorrow.
Youngmin dropped from A-ban to B-ban, so I can't teach him English this semester. He is royally bummed about that. KBR says she's going to try to get him transferred back, though I don't know how that will work, seeing as how he actually placed lower in his midterms and finals.
My sparkly-sweet Yeonghan told SG2 that her new hairstyle didn't look good. He was just teasing, but I couldn't let that comment slide. I told him not to say such things and that SG2 was flat-out beautiful, which is no exaggeration. He said in English that I was prettier than her, with both of us standing right there, and I punched him in the arm a few times. That child is still bedecked with a halo and wings in my view, but it's also about time he ended his reign as an insult comic.
Hugged BY this morning, saw BH by the basketball court, hugged Jaehyung and let him play with my hair for forever while he listened to me and Jeongmin chat. HH came by twice to talk just a little, I went by the special-needs room to see Seongwonnie and Dohyun, and Minjoonie assured me that he'll bring my fish back tomorrow. All's well with most of my crew of loved ones.
My friend O-Teacher's eyes are a little swollen today. Because she had double-eyelid surgery recently. No doubt, her eyes look bigger and more conventionally attractive by western stardards, but it hurts me that she felt she had to live up to those standards. You shouldn't have to cut your face to be pretty. But this was her fully informed choice as a mid-twenties adult, and I just have to support her and tell her that she's amazing in any case. It's not my place to show disapproval.
KBR liked the new game I made, so much in fact that she asked for a copy of the file, so she could use it to teach English cooking vocabulary to her students. Score!!! This has never happened before, and I couldn't be happier.
So I loved people today, and was loved in return. The Lord blesses and blesses, and doesn't hold back.
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